I started this BLOG so long ago as a way to help me through this journey. A way of letting me release what it was I was feeling, a way of validating that what I was feeling was real so to speak. I am not one to ask for help. If I do ask for help, it's because I have gotten to my wits end and feel that I am going to break or lose my mind. When I feel that I have no options left real or not. This BLOG was a way for me to cry out to family and friends without having to cry out to them personally. See just because I finally asked for the help doesn't mean that I can talk to anyone and actually take it. But that is not what this posting is about.
When I started this whole process and journey of having the Lap Band surgery, I believed in some part of myself. I even got my surgeon to go ahead with the Lap Band rather than the RNY like he suggested. I had lost my 10% of weight before surgery all on my own. I felt good and confident that I could do this!!! That I was ready! Somewhere along the line I lost that belief. My old ways of thinking and eating slowly crept back, till the next thing I know I am slipping and from that point on I have struggled with losing any weight other than the 10% I lost before surgery.
Please, I come to you as not only someone who needs to learn this for herself again but to reach out to any who may have the same feelings. A good friend of mine tells me no one said it's going to be easy, but anything worth the work is worth the reward. I have another friend that likes to say "it was weight loss surgery, not brain surgery....you still have your mind to deal with".
Believe in yourself! Truly believe! You have come to this point either looking to have surgery, have had the surgery, or just looking for something anything. You have already taken the first step...could be the hardest step....but it is YOU that has taken it. I have heard people tell me this whole time that it took time to put the weight on it will take time to get it off. This is true....but the time it took to put the weight on, at least for me, was masked behind emotions and just mindlessness. I ate to escape, I ate to be happy, I ate...because it tasted good! No matter how or why I ate...I ate without thinking! Now that I have the Lap Band I no longer have that option no matter how I may fight it! Yes, it's going to be hard and yes it can be a total pain in the butt! Counting calories, weighing your food, chewing everything 30 times, the time it takes to eat a meal and being with those who can still eat whatever they want and how much. Don't think of it as all of that! You can't!! You must put yourself first! You deserve it weather you feel like it now or not....YOU DESERVE IT!!! You deserve to feel happy and healthy (and no I didn't say thin or skinny!!!). Believe in yourself to be what YOU want to be not what others think you should be.
Always believe that you are worth whatever you want...no one knows better what it is that you want other than you. Don't be ashamed to want to have a healthier life (you may have friends or family that without thinking will try and sabotage you). You need to believe that you are strong enough to do this! Let's face it....it is no easy task being overweight! You have been strong through those times believe in yourself to be strong now. Don't let others bring you down. Most people don't understand the struggle it is to go through this...but you are more than this struggle.... believe in yourself to be happy. I'm not saying put on a fake smile and get through the day, although I have done that more times than I care to admit, and still do. What I am saying is believe that you are making these changes because it is something you want, and that you have a vision for you and don't let anyone take that from you!
I have much to learn to get to believe in myself again, but I am on the right track. Know you are never alone no matter how alone you feel you are. There are support groups and things out there of people who have gone through the journey too. I have been to some when I needed just to feel not so alone. I'm not one for sharing (I know but I have a BLOG sharing lol) but it does me good to know I am not alone in how I feel. Please feel free to write to me, (I believe I have a link to go straight to email if you don't want others to see I will double check), of your struggles, triumphs, or anything. One day at a time I start to believe in myself more and more. Never forget that you are always worth believing in yourself! You are truly one of a kind! Be happy, be you, and always believe that you are something special....because you are!!!
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