I have taken a lot of time to think about what is going on in my life and how I want to live it. I have been worried about others feelings, situations, health, and financial issues. The whole time I have the same issues to deal with but tend to push them aside. Well I don't know what changed or why but I have gotten a sudden urge to take care of me and my family, meaning Jim, Shadow, and myself. I will still help others because that is who I am, but we are coming first for a change.
I started yesterday by cleaning out some banker boxes from the garage. I threw away one box worth and the other two I packed up for Salvation Army. It felt so good to have a clean spot in the garage. Granted the clean spot is only 2 feet by 1 foot, but it's CLEAN!!!
So today, I was able to sell a friends monitor for him (not to mention he bought me a new pair of shoes, thanks Scott!!!) and was feeling pretty good getting rid of stuff. So I came up with this idea to donate my old pc's to a non-profit haunted house that another friend of mine runs. They got broken into a while back and their computer stuff got taken, so....I'm giving them mine. I trust them, they can use them, and I'm helping a good cause which makes me feel fantastic!!! So then I cleaned out two big totes full of stuff out of the garage. One was full of clothes that neither Jim or I could ever wear....well not unless we starved for a year...lol. So off they went to Salvation Army. Then the other tote was full of party decorations and balloons for weddings. I hated to get rid of that because I love to decorate...but I'm not doing any weddings now and there is no sense to keep them, so they went on Freecycle.
It has been a tough journey and I am no were near being done. I even looked at the price tags on some of the stuff and felt sick because I never did anything with the stuff. It sat in totes for years, not months, days or hours....YEARS!!!! But after that thought passed, the thought of being able to have friends over without cringing, being able to do my crafts with room to work, and to have a garage that Jim can park his motorcycle in and actually work on if he wants. No more saving for maybe someday....I'm going to start living in today.
Now I have to admit, that this feeling won't last forever. My track record of this is not good. I get this feeling off and on but then I get discouraged because of the sheer mass of everything and lack of time, and of course the emotions that go along with it. But I am going to fight for this one this time. I even posted on my Facebook page that if you don't like who I am, and the way I do things....you have complete control to delete me from your friends page. I am not changing for you because you think I should. Nope!!! I even deleted a few people that were talking smack behind my back. Sorry people, but I don't need your issues!!! I have my own!!! If you are to chicken caca to say something to my face, I don't have time for you!!! I have always been up front and open with everyone, and now I am expecting the same!!!
I'm going to continue my journey and make it my own. I'm going to cook how I want, post what I want, and do what I want to do. If you choose to take this journey with me, rock on. If you don't, well walk on by or stand aside....I'm coming through!!!
