New Year's eve 2009

Today is a day full of activities. Some enjoyable, some that just have to be done. As I sit here early in the morning thinking about everything that needs to get done today, I can't help but to wonder why I really have no reflections about the year. There were some good times, and bad times, but most of all....I feel like it's just time to move on. I don't want to dwell on what happened last year, I want to focus on what I'm going to do this coming year.

I woke up early this morning, not because I was anxious about today, but because I had to retrieve some blood of the elders from the game Vampire Wars on Facebook. I know that sounds stupid, but hey if it gets me out of bed, and helps me start the day, I'm all for it!!! I went out in the kitchen and played my game for awhile, checked e-mail, wished everyone a very happy new year, and then I was done. What I mean by done, is that there was no stress on having to get things together for today, what was I going to wear for tonight. As Cesar Millan would say...I was in a calm submissive state. It was kind of nice.

Tonight Jim and I are going to go see Xanadu at the community center. Jim won free tickets by being the 1000th friend of Pat and Tom on KNCI on Facebook. I am so excited. I so love the arts and things like music circus, operas, etc. I have never really been to anything like this. Not to mention it's time together just Jim and myself. Now don't get me wrong....my first thought was after the play where are we going from there, maybe to a bar to have our first public new year's kiss. Then my head goes into...I wonder if Spencer would like to join us for some music and festivities after the show. I am always thinking of others before my hubby. That has got to stop!! Jim has stood by me through thick and thin and it's time I show him that.

I sometimes get upset with Jim because I feel like I'm taken for granted, but it just dawned on me, that I do the same to him. So this year, I'm focusing on us. I'm not making an resolutions...they just don't stick, besides this is a new year and a new opportunity. Mom has a car now, so I don't have to be their taxi. I'm getting back to me and Jim and Shadow. Home is where the heart is...and they are truly my heart and soul. So sorry friends and family, but mending is around the corner for my heart.

And we're off.....
Jim and I left the house around 10am to go pick up the tickets for the show tonight. We had to take the long way there because we were still on the spare tire. But we got there and got the tickets. Jim noticed that where we were sitting was in the orchestra pit. Oh how fun!!!! After that we headed over to mom's house. We sat around for awhile, then since mom had to go to the bank, I thought this would be a perfect time to try out her car before I have to drive it to the doctors office. So we all piled in the car and off we went.

The car is not that bad, it has a few issues but hey.....it runs!!!! I have to figure out a way so mom can sit up straighter in the seat. The seat leans waaaaay back....I felt almost like I was laying down in the back seat driving. lol. The car has a lot of get up and go, so let's hope that mom will finally be able to get up and go!!!!

Anyway, we came back home to mom's. Jim had to leave to pick up his paycheck, get a new tire for the van, and then meet up with mom, Kelly and I for lunch. That is where the day went wonky!!

I took mom to the eye doctor. When we got there we saw a lady that used to come to the brown bag program that mom runs at church. Her name is Barbara. She looked great. Barbara has some medical issues like diabetes and such, but she looked really healthy. That was nice to see. We talked for awhile, but I had to get mom in for her appointment. They took mom right away.

Now her appointment was to get her eyes checked so she could get some new glasses. I was thinking maybe half an hour or so. Half an hour came and went, still no mom. Forty-five minutes, still no mom. Hmmmm. Kelly is getting restless, and we both are getting hungry!!! Jim shows up and an hour later, mom re-appears from the land of the blind. We thought that we were done....should have known. The doctor dilated mom's eyes and wanted her to see the surgeon about doing surgery to get rid of her cataract. So that was going to be another half hour or longer wait. Which is fine, because she needs to have this done. But I was getting hungry!!! Jim and I only had a bowl of cereal at 8am and here it is almost 4pm!!! But we wait.

Once again, mom re-appears from the grasp of the doctor, and she has this sick look on her face. I ask her what's wrong. She has to have surgery and the doctor is going to fix both eyes, a month apart. Then she shows me the appointment schedule. Wholly cow....she has about 8 appointments before her surgery on March 9th!!!! Then after March, they are going to do surgery on the other eye for her far sightedness in April!!! Looks like I'm still a taxi driver for another 6 months or so. That's ok, I would rather mom get her eyes fixed than to put this off any longer. *sigh*

Moving on.....we head over to where we are going to have lunch, which has now turned into dinner. We get over to Panda Buffet and they are closed!!! They close between lunch and dinner to get reset I guess. So I took mom and Kelly across the street to the store so they could get some groceries for later and then we headed back to eat.

Now it's 4:30pm. Jim and I have to be able to eat, take mom and Kelly home, get us home and changed and out the door by 7pm to go see Xanadu by 8pm downtown. To give you a breakdown of time, mom lives 30 minutes away from the restaurant, we live 45 minutes away from mom (with no traffic), and we live 20 minutes away from the theater downtown but then have to find parking. Whew!!!!

The funniest part of the whole eating thing is that mom's eyes are still dilated. She can't see a thing!!!! Her nose is shot so she can't smell anything...so if I catch her licking things to find out what they are, I'm leaving....LOL. I helped mom figure out what everything was and we finally got to eat. RELIEF!!!! The food tasted soooo good. I had to catch myself and slow down otherwise I was going to either loose my dinner or it was going to get stuck and I was going to be super uncomfortable for a long time. Since we got there right when it opened, not all of the food was out yet. By the time all the food was out, I had eaten my cup of food and was done. No matter though, it all tasted good. I was good too though. I didn't eat anything fried, I did however eat the filling out of the crab rangoon!!! Yummmm!!! I had my fill of protein, veggies, jello (oh I so love jello!!!), and yes I had some ice milk.

Now it's time to break the sound barrier getting mom and Kelly home. We got them home and unpacked then we were off. Thankfully we knew what we were going to wear to the theater tonight. Like super hero's, we changed in an instant and we were off and driving again.

Are you tired yet?!? We were but our night was just beginning!!! We parked in a parking garage and walked over to the community center. We had no idea where they were holding the play. In the front of the center was a clean and sober group, I don't think we need that, and on the side of the center was a recovery art show. Hmmm...I see a theme!! lol. Behind the community center was the theater. Yeah!!!!! We have finally arrived!!! As we walked in, there was someone selling these books. I thought that they were programs at first, since this is my first Broadway production that I've been to!!! Nope, these were books about the whole life of Xanadu. I thought, cool, I've never seen the movie, and it would be a cool item to remember tonight by. $25 dollars later.....it was still cool!!! Jim headed over to grab a beer.....$5.50!!! It was Budweiser too!!! Who cares, tonight is our night. I was going to buy a water but not at $3 for a 16.9 ounce bottle. We had about a half an hour until we could go into the seating area. So we sat back and watched all the people arrive. There were people in furs and people in jeans and hoodies. It was interesting to see what everyone was wearing. I was afraid that me in my black pants and t-shirt were going to be out of place. Nope!!!! lol.

7:30pm we are ushered into the seating area. An usher takes us to our seats. WOW!!!!! We are three rows back from the stage!!!! Woot woot!!! We take our seats and look through our program....not the book, but the actual program. The seats are filling in around us, but so far no one is sitting on either side of us. I was worried because I didn't really fit in the seat. There is nothing worse than having to sit next to a heavy person and have them "hang over" your seat too. So far so good. I was amazed at the lights, and the settings, it was all just so exciting. There were seats up on stage that people were sitting in too! I'm not sure I would want to sit there. Then it happened, the seats next to me filled up. Thankfully she was a skinny little thing and I was able to sit closer to Jim (who had no one sitting next to him), so we all had room. She would occasionally kick me or elbow me but that was ok.

The theater darkens....it's beginning.....the show is on!!!!!!

It was fantastic!!! The lead singer actually occasionally sounded like Olivia Newton John! The humor was hilarious, and the singing and dancing was absolutely amazing!!! I LOVED IT!!!!! I'm hooked!!! We left the theater and were going to head over to a bar to finish out our evening, but everywhere was packed!!!! Neither one of us wanted to really drink anyway. So we headed home. I was tired but amped too. This was a fantastic evening!!!

Finally home and stripped down to our comfy clothes, we relaxed. We watched some tv, played with the dog, and by 11:30pm I was asleep. So much for my New Year's day kiss....but not so. I felt Jim lean over and give me a kiss on the cheek at midnight. Now you know why I keep him around.

The evening was over. What a wonderful way to close out the year. Happy New Year everyone. May all your wishes, dreams, and desires be obtainable, and fulfilled.

Good night.

Maybe 2010 is going to be better

*Fingers crossed*

2009 was a trying time for us. Not any more than any other year, but since it's still salt in the wound, it feels worse than it is. I hope.

Jim had an early day today from work. He was home by 11am!!!! We were hoping that his paycheck would be here today but we have to wait until tomorrow around 1pm. Now the reason this is soooo important right now is that we overdrew our account Dec. 24th!!!! We have to get a new tire for the van, I have to take my mom to see the eye doctor tomorrow around 1:30pm (she lives a good 45 min. away from me and the doctor is a good 30 minutes away from her!!).

Jim and I were going to take mom and Kelly out for a fun New Year's eve day...but....man there seems to be a lot of buts in my life recently....time is going to be an issue. Just as I was starting to stress about how everything was going to get done, Jim called.

Jim asked me to go to his Facebook page and see if KNCI (radio station) posted something on his page about being the 1000th friend on Facebook. Well sure enough there was!!! Jim won a pair of tickets to go see Xanadu tomorrow night!!!

This will be the first New Year's eve that we have spent out together, not at home dosing on and off. This will be our first New Year's kiss out in public in the 13 years we've been married!!!

As for the paycheck and the tire, we have worked out a plan to make sure everything gets done and we can still have some fun before we have to take my mom and sister home. Then it's out to play for Jim and myself.

So here is to new excitement for all of you and the New Year!!

A very Merry Christmas

We wish you a merry christmas, we wish you a merry christmas, we wish you a merry christmas and a happy new year!!!

These photos are actually from Christmas eve at mom's house but it's close enough!! Jim and I headed over to mom's house around 11am. We had the van stuffed with gifts (ok not so many of those but the heart was there), and food. I did my usual annoying phone call at 7am to wish them a merry christmas, so now it was time to pay the piper and spend some time with them. lol. We had decided not to make a big to do out of Christmas this year. None of us had the money or the time and besides, it's time to get back to the meaning of Christmas not the material of it. Yeah I know, sounds good in theory, but I really do mean it, just have a hard time doing it.

We got to mom's house and first thing we see is mom and Kelly bounding toward us with arms wide open. Kind of a nice thing....but I'll never admit to it. lol. Jim and I unloaded the food and we all sat down in the front room to open the gifts that we weren't giving to each other.

Now my poor mom has the hardest time getting stuff for me because I ALWAYS know what it is I'm getting. But I am thankful just the same.

This photo is of a oil diffuser for the house. It's apple and cinnamon scented. Yumm....it's really pretty too. I know juuuust where I'm going to put it.

Here is my mom and sister, Kelly, checking out their cool new coffee cups from Jim and I. Hee hee hee. All together, we got mom a coffee cup, pair of earrings, and something else I can't think of right now. For Kelly we got her a coffee cup, ring, and something else I also can't think of. Honest, I haven't even had any egg nog!!!

This is another gift that mom and Kelly got me. It's a our daily bread dish with a box of banana bread mix. The funny thing is that I didn't know she was getting this for me while we were at the store, until she forgot to buy it. So I gave her some money to go buy it, and she said well it was for you... So she had a chance to get one over on me and blew it. lol.

And of course what is Christmas if you don't have a few stupid photos of the family. Here is Jim and mine. Ok, nothing in my nose, nothing in my teeth....CHEESE!!! The bow is off my banana bread box. I thought that I needed some color.

Then our annual mom and daughter goof off shot. I was trying to be a sumo wrestler but look more like a mutant crab. Mom stepped in with her sumo try but she just looks constipated. lol.

No comment needed here!!!! It's the feast!!! We had a TON of food!!! In fact I think mom is going to have food for a month!!! We decided that we were not taking any food home with us. I know this really breaks my mom and sister's hearts!!! NOT!!!!

We stayed until about 6pm at mom's. Mom's neighbor Colleen and her son Shawn came over to feast with us. All in all it was a nice day. We were all tired and ready to go home. But before we could go home, we had to slip in a gift we bought for mom and Kelly. We played it off as it came from Santa. So as we were getting ready to leave, Jim stepped outside like he was going to go smoke a cigarette and grabbed the gift. Mom was in the rest room and I had Kelly blocked at the kitchen table eating so she couldn't see. Jim snuck it under their tree and we were off.

We came home to a very happy and excited puppy. We were gone all day and I came back with wrapped gifts from mom and Kelly. And yes, they were all for her!!!! She enjoyed her toy and chicken strips and then it was time for bed. Finally.....

Oh I almost forgot...a little bit after we got home, a friend of ours stopped by to give us some Christmas gifts. Jim got a bottle of Jameson and two drinking glasses and he got me a bottle of Jack Black Dead Red Root Beer and a bottle of Brain Wash. Unfortunately, I was so tired that I fell asleep before I could thank him.

Christmas morning....

We got up and Jim headed for the coffee, Shadow toward the back door and me toward the kitchen. Oddly enough....Santa had stopped by and left a gift for Jim...ok it was me but he knew that when he saw it.

But the best part of the day was when my good friend Spencer stopped by the house. I have never had anyone in my home for a good 9 years because of my hoarding. Well I worked all month to get it clean so Spencer could stop by. When he came over he could sit on the couch and we all had a nice visit. Shadow even left him alone...sort of....she growled a couple of times but that was it. That was fantastic for her!!!!

Spencer made me a felted ornament that was so cool!!! He couldn't stay long but the time we spent together was very well worth it.

As for the rest of the day, Jim and I spent it lounging around. We had a fantastic Christmas. I couldn't have wished for anything better!!!

The day before Christmas eve

It's the day before Christmas eve and all through the kitchen not a thing was finished not even the bitchen.

I had promised mom that I would make a bunch of finger foods to take over to her house for Christmas eve so she didn't have to cook a big meal. Especially since I can't eat very much.

So the menu that I was planning was: lemon bars, ham and pineapple cream cheese wraps, mahogany chicken, mini pizzas, bacon cheese burger bites, potato skins, baked cinnamon apples, and taco cups. Now out of all of these, I can only eat the bacon cheese burger bites, apples, chicken, taco cups, and.....lemon bars.....ok well I'm not supposed to eat those....but......yep it's going to my butt....I can't let them go to waste or should I say...waist. LOL Sorry I think I'm a little punch drunk from....well I'm not sure but it's got me goofy!!

I make the lemon bars first since they are a breeze to make. Oh the smell was fantastic!!!! *drools uncontrollably!!* They turn out pretty good. But that is where the fun ends.

AAARRRGGGG!!!!! Next I went to make my bacon cheese burger bites. Now these are super easy to make, they are hamburger, cheese, crumbled bacon, and Egg Beaters. Mix them all together and scoop them into mini muffin pans. Well this is all well and good but with everything going on, I forgot to spray the pan with Pam!!!! Yep, you guessed it!!! They stuck like there was no tomorrow. I didn't want to scratch my non stick pan so I, for what seemed like forever, gently, pleaded and wiggled them out. I have to admit there were a few choice words in there off and on....but no need to go into detail...lol.

Next on the list was the taco cups. These too are very easy to make....or so I thought they were going to be. I mixed up the hamburger with the taco seasoning, pressed it into the muffin pans, mixed the sour cream, cheese, and olives together and dolloped it on top. Just pop them in the oven and cook for about 10 minutes. WRONG!!!! I apparently used 80/20 hamburger rather than the 10% I thought I grabbed. Well the muffin pans filled up with grease that I had to dump out. While dumping it out....I almost lost the sour cream mixture. I was able to save them, and they tasted fantastic.....but they didn't look so fantastic.

By this time, I am almost ready to give up. I don't like it when my cooking goes array. But I charged forward. Thankfully everything else went fairly well. But what is there to screw up with the rest of the menu!

My cooking finally evened out and I was fairly pleased but I just have to be thankful that it was a family affair and not company. LOL.

I guess now it's time for me to put on my cap for a long winters nap. Until then....

Feeling Christmas

Just recently I read a post by a friend of mine that said, "If you don't feel Christmas in your heart, you'll never find it under the tree".

This got me thinking. I feel Christmas in my heart but I also feel it in my pocket book, and my stomach. Granted the pocket book and stomach are coping methods but it's the feeling in my heart that triggers those feelings elsewhere.

This year we were not going to give any gifts to anyone due to financial reasons. But the closer Christmas got, I couldn't take it anymore. I had to have a little something for everyone. It started out with a battery charger for my hubby Jim. This was important for me because he supports me through everything and is ALWAYS there for me in the good times and the bad. Not to mention that he has given up working on his motorcycle because we needed money for other things. So this year, he had to come first!!!

Then I saw a generic Wii and thought that would be perfect for my mom and sister. The game would give them something else to do rather than arguing with each other. Then I thought about Spencer. A dear friend that is working and going to school at the same time. He works so hard. I found a neck massager to help ease his stress. It wasn't until I brought it home that Jim told me that he thought it is to fru fru for a guy. Ok so it's soft blue and fuzzy, but hey what do I know.

And of course I can't forget my best friend and her family. Wendy is losing her father due to illness this Christmas so they weren't going to do anything for the holidays. I had to be able to send her some love, along with her kids this year too.

It wasn't a lot this year but I couldn't not give something to my loved ones. I found that I ate more trying not to buy items for everyone, than I did when I bought the stuff. But then of course, my head tells me that what I got isn't enough, then I start eating to curb the inadequacy I am feeling. The stupid part is that the things I bought were from the heart, so there should be no sense of inadequacy. But that is a demon I still have to battle.

I did decorate a little bit around the house to make it feel like the holidays, but it was never really the same.

So this year, I guess I'm faking it until I feel it. Hopefully I won't feel it in my belly before my heart.

I am a hoarder

I am embarrassed to say this, and even more so to show you. But I feel that I have to do this so I might be able to overcome it.

Please do not judge me by this photo. You do not know me and you do not know what brought me to this point. All I ask is that you look and listen to me as I work through this whatever you may want to call it.

I have dealt with this situation for many years. In fact our front room has looked like this the entire 9 years we have lived here. However it did not start here. My problem started many years before that. I am not going to get into how I got to this point, as it is a very personal and touchy topic for me.

I will deal with this from this point on. If you can stand it, I invite you to follow along with me as I battle my demon. I have decided that one of the ways for me to be successful in my weight loss journey is to make my home a place of happiness. I don't want my home to feel like a comfortable prison where food is my reward. I want to be able to have people come to my home without cringing at what they will see. Jim and I have so much to offer, it's time to let everyone see all of us.

This is a photo of our front room of the house. I took this today. I could not bear to show you any of the other rooms, so this one will have to do.

Now I could tell you where everything is if you asked me. But that does not make this right.

I have been cleaning off and on all day today. It has been really hard. When things got too hard I found myself running towards the fridge. I did ok for awhile but the cream cheese and apple butter got the best of me. I know this is wrong and that I shouldn't have eaten it, but by the time I had it half eaten I didn't care. After I ate the toast, I didn't feel guilty like normal, I guess because I was dealing with going through the stuff in the room. I DO feel guilty now that I am writing this all down. How weak could I be.

Jim and I have decided not to decorate for Christmas this year, and we're not giving out any gifts either. We are trying to get a handle on our financial situation and we thought that this was the best way to go. So I thought that by cleaning the front room it would make me feel better. So far it hasn't. But the room isn't clean yet either.

I have only been able to get a little done today. I even kept the television off for most the day so I wouldn't have anything to distract me. I will keep trying. I really want at least the front of the house clean by Christmas. Not so much for other people's sake but for my own and my families. I will post photos on my progress.

Thanks for listening today.

Comfort food anyone?!?!?!?!

I thought that since today is the last day of Jim's holiday weekend, I would make him a special menu for today.

Breakfast started off with some oven baked maple pork sausage, banana and cream cheese stuffed french toast, and a cold glass of milk. Oh you can't believe how good the house smelled!! I on the other hand was good this morning and drank a protein shake. I have got to get those holiday pounds into shape, and that shape is NOT round!!!

Lunch was to be some Creamy ham and new potato soup. It only takes about 30 minutes from start to finish. And it is soooo good. In fact, I think I'm going to give you the recipe. If you try it, please let me know if you changed it in any way and what you thought of it.

Creamy Ham & Potato Soup ~ Better Homes and Garden's soups and stews cookbook

12 ounces tiny new potatoes, quartered, (2 cups) I used some Yukon gold potatoes and just cut them into small squares and it worked just fine.
1 cup water
1 cup chopped carrots I used baby carrots and cut them into small discs.
1/2 cup chopped onion I used some minced dried onion about 2 Tablespoons worth
1/2 cup chopped celery I used some celery salt about 1/2 teaspoon with 1/8 teaspoon of celery seed
1/4 teaspoon dried thyme or basil, crushed, or dried dill I used the thyme
1/4 teaspoon white or black pepper
1 1/2 cups half and half, light cream, or milk I used the milk
1 (10.75) ounce cream of celery or mushroom soup I used the cream of celery
1 cup cubed cooked ham
3/4 cup shredded American cheese (3oz)

In a large saucepan combine potatoes, water, carrots, onion, celery, thyme and pepper. Bring to boiling; reduce heat. Simmer covered, for 10 to 15 minutes or until potatoes are tender. I simmered 15 minutes.

Stir in milk, soup, and ham; heat through. Do not boil. Reduce heat to low. Add cheese, stirring until melted. If desired, garnish with parsley, cracked pepper, and/or additional American cheese.

Makes 4 large servings. Calories 382. But trust me they are well worth it. A green salad or some steamed veggies makes this a really complete meal.

So now that we are both stuffed again. It's time for me to start making Jim his pot roast for dinner. Did I mention that it was going to be a special menu?!?! What he doesn't realize it that he will be eating veggies and tofu all next week. LOL. Just kidding honey!!!

Dinner is going to be pot roast, scalloped potatoes, green bean casserole, and a chocolate pudding poke cake for dessert! Yumm. I get to eat the green beans, and some shredded chicken meat. But it's all good! I really don't mind making the different meals every once and awhile. Everyday....however....would drive me insane, but once and awhile I don't mind spoiling the big lug. That's what being in love is all about right?

Until tomorrow.....

Thanksgiving...the saga...

Since Jim and I were spending Thanksgiving alone this year, it felt kind of funny. It was nice but different.

I made Jim some country potatoes, sausage, and eggs for breakfast. It's always so fun to feed him. You can see the joy and satisfaction he gets from eating my cooking. lol. From then we sort of went our separate ways for awhile. I had to get things started for dinner and he was off watching football and who knows what else. I had called mom to tell her about the Macy's day parade and that started the day of phone calls on how to cook a turkey in a roasting bag. Something I have never done I mind you.

I started off with peeling a bunch of potatoes for the crockpot scalloped potatoes. Yumm, and I don't have to make extra room in the oven to fix them either!! Wahoo!! I didn't realize just how much it was going to make!!! Man, Jim is going to be eating scalloped potatoes with everything!!!

After that I had some time to spend with Jim and Shadow. Watched some television but mostly snuggled (all three of us I mind you!) in a queen sized bed. Shadow got the best end of the deal. She took her third of the bed right out of the middle. No chance for Jim and I to get too close. LOL.

The afternoon went by uneventful for the most part. In fact I can't even tell you what we had for lunch! lol. The phone calls from mom kept me from sleeping too much though. Ha ha, she thinks I am a walking cookbook!! I cook alot but come on!! lol. I think I finally got her situated so her and Kelly could eat a nice dinner. As for us....well my timing was not so good. I was going to have everything done at the same time but not having cooked that big of a meal for so long, I was a little out of practice.

Our menu was to consist of scalloped potatoes, green bean casserole, roasted chicken, cornbread, cranberry jelly (ok it was from a can), olives, (yep from a can too), and a homemade pumpkin pie. The pie was all from scratch, filling, crust and all! Yumm.

Well I thought that I would try a different way to roast the chicken this year. In order to keep it really moist, I put some carrots in the cavity to hold onto some moisture. Well it worked too good. I couldn't get a good feel for the chicken. Everything else was all done but not the chicken. AARRGGG!!! It tasted great but we finally had to microwave some of it so we could eat while everything was.....warm? lol. It was a nice dinner though. Jim had his fill, and I well....had to eat in stages. I was having a hard time keeping things from sticking and staying down. I only ate about a half a cup by the time everything was said and done.

I couldn't eat the potatoes, didn't eat the cornbread, the cranberry sauce was sticking, and so was the chicken. The only things that went down really nicely was the green bean casserole and the pumpkin pie!!! Although I didn't eat the crust of the pie just the filling with....yes CoolWhip. Hey it was the holidays!!!!

All in all it was a nice day. Very quiet. It did feel funny not being with my mom and sister, but we have to have some us time too. Jim and I haven't spent a holiday alone since we've been married, almost 13 years ago. I think it was time, don't you?

Well I hope you all had a wonderful turkey day, and that you didn't gobble till ya wobble. But if ya did.....well I won't tell if you don't. lol.

Happy Thanksgiving

I really have a lot to be thankful for. Although the things I am thankful for can be quite trying. LOL!!!!


This year Jim and I are spending Thanksgiving day alone with Shadow. No having to travel all over the world visiting relatives etc. I do however, feel bad that we are leaving my mom and sister alone this year. Money just got to tight this month. *Sigh* But I am thankful that Jim has a job and we are not one of the many homeless that have to struggle so much.

I am thankful for:

My friends both online and in person. Without all of you, there would be many times that I would have retreated back into myself. You have all been so supportive of me in all of my many endeavors this year.

My family. No matter how strange, stressful, or neurotic things got you were always there to take my mind off of things. However by adding to the stress is not my favorite way of getting my mind off of things, you all do it so well! LOL!! Just kidding. I love you all for all of your flaws, faults, but most of all your hearts.

My husband and child (fur person). Without Jim and Shadow I wouldn't have any calm within the storm. Shadow is my shoulder to cry on, a good lick on the face, and unconditional love that goes on forever. Jim is my strength, my reason, my love deeper than any ocean, and the one that completes me. I have not been easy to deal with and yet he stands strong behind me no matter the outcome. I can not fathom living without either of them.

And then there is my health, mind, soul, and all of the material things that we have, but without my friends, family, Jim and Shadow it would seem so pointless.

So I thank you all!!!! I love you all!!! And I wish you all the best Thanksgiving ever!!

My birthday...oh what a day!!!

I was having mixed feelings about my birthday this year. Money was REALLY tight, and I was going to have to see my surgeon a couple of weeks after. So I was treating it like any other day. Little did I know, it was going to be far from any other day.

Jim and I had planned on getting our blood work done first thing in the morning, coming home to eat breakfast, going to his CPAP class, then off to mom's to fix her washing machine. Well everything was going as planned up to getting our blood work done.

On our way to the hospital, we had to go around a car that was stranded in the intersection. We went around it and I asked Jim to go back. I had no idea who was in the car or what their situation was, I just knew that I had to help this person out of the street. So we turned around. I got out of the car, Jim pulled up behind it, and I went to the drivers side window. The person that was in the car was a young lady about 18 or so. She was crying while on the phone. I so felt for her. I told her that I was going to push her out of the intersection. I would push her wherever she needed to go. I could have pushed her onto a side street or into the gas station. We decided on the gas station. She asked me what should she do and I told her just put it in neutral and stay off the break.

Now, I want you to picture this....I am 6 feet tall and weigh somewhere around 340 pounds. I'm dressed all in black (black t-shirt and jeans) and I'm getting ready to push this car through an intersection. Jim is following behind me in the van so no one runs over me. And for clarification, the reason Jim is driving and I'm pushing is because Jim has had a heart attack and I have not!!! I also didn't want Jim to push the car with the van because it was a newer car and I didn't want to scratch it up with our van. Anyway, I get pushing and this black gentleman comes running from the gas station yelling at me that he is coming to help. I could have done it by myself, but I was thankful for his help.

While we are pushing this car, the gentleman is asking me what is wrong with her car. I didn't know, only that it wasn't out of gas. She was on the phone to AAA when I told her I would push her car. Now this whole time that we are pushing and talking, we have accelerated to sort of a slow jog. I can hear my belly slap the tops of my thighs with every step. I was dying a little bit every time they hit and made a plop plopping sound. But I stayed strong and continued pushing. She was more important than I was at this point. Well we got to the entrance of the gas stations driveway. You know how when you go from a sidewalk to a parking lot you go from smooth concrete to rough asphalt. Well there was a little bit of a lip and I tripped on it. I went down to my knees the whole time trying to catch my balance. Well it didn't work. I had to fall all the way down on my side in order to get up. I got up quickly and was able to walk to the car. The whole time I was falling I was thinking...oh please don't rip my pants, I only have three pair. Luckily they didn't rip but I could tell my knees were skinned up, and the right knee was bloody.

Anyway I walked over to the car, the black gentleman asked if I was ok and said he was sorry ( it wasn't his fault but it was nice to hear). I asked the girl if she was ok and she said yes but then she got out of the car and thanked me. In fact her words were..oh my god you don't even know me and you helped me. You are so awesome, thank you! She gave me a huge hug. I felt like I was on cloud nine!!! I couldn't have felt better about myself than if I had won a huge reward.

I go back to the van panting like a bad dog. I was so out of breath it wasn't funny. But I was able to do it and follow through. I got in the van calmed down a bit, drank some water, and felt my knees. Yep the right one was bloody it was sticking to my pants, the other knee felt ok, it was just a little tender. Wow all of this and it was barely 7:30am!!!

Jim and I headed over to the hospital to have our lab work done. There was no one there so we were taken in right away! With that out of the way, Jim asked if I wanted to go out to breakfast. I told him no, I will cook breakfast at home. That way we were saving money and I wouldn't have to worry about what I was eating. Ever since my last fill, it's been a challenge to eat in the morning. My esophagus is tight and it's hard to swallow some foods. So we went home.

When we got home, my mom and sister called to wish me a happy birthday with a song. I'm surprised that my answering machine didn't die!! lol. It was pretty bad. I picked up the phone and talked with them for a little while then had to go or we were going to be late for Jim's CPAP class.

We went to a different hospital for his class and of course it didn't start on time. But no worries, we had nothing planned anyway. The lady and gentleman that were running the class said that if I wanted to sit in on the class that it would be ok. I'm glad I did because it was a ton more informative than my class ever was!!

Finally our duties are almost over. Now all we have to do is go out to moms to fix her washing machine. She had gotten some clothes stuck under the agitator and couldn't get them out. We got out to mom's and I fixed the washer. No problem, she just wasn't strong enough to pull the agitator up. Then she takes me into the kitchen and bless her heart, she and my sister had made me a cake and a birthday card. We sat around a little bit and had some cake. We talked for about an hour then it was time to go. Mom had given me $40 to do whatever with. It was supposed to go for a haircut, but it ended up going towards Jim and I going out to lunch at Golden Corral.

The day's events ended around 3pm. We finally got home and both Jim and I crashed. When I woke up, I got on the computer to check my e-mail. In my e-mail box was 209 birthday wishes!!! Then a little later on, I got a phone call from a friend I haven't seen in ages wishing me a happy birthday. Wow!

I had a complete day. So much for a hum drum day. Everyone made my day fantastic in some little way. It really gave me a reason to be thankful. I had a good day!!!

A day of cooking and cleaning

This book is my new best friend!!! This is what I have been cooking out of. Most of the recipes I can eat, but there are some that I have to tweak so I can eat them. But I have nothing but success with all of the recipes in here. This is volume #2. Volume #1 is fantastic also!!!!

After being bed bound with some type of bug, I am finally up and on my feet again. Since I've been sick, we haven't been eating really good. So today I am making it a day of cooking, freezing, and cleaning. I have two recipes right off the bat that I want to make. One is "Cajun Style Chicken Leg Quarters" and the other is "Broccoli Rice Casserole".

By 10:30am I had the chicken all done and starting to freeze in the freezer! Wahoo!!!

Here's the recipe for that. Not to mention....it's low calorie and good for you too!!! Such a bonus deal!!!

Cajun Stule Chicken Leg Quarters

4 chicken leg quarters

14.5 ounce can diced tomatoes, undrained

1/2 cup vegetable oil

1/4 cup onion, finely chopped

1/4 cup green bell pepper, finely chopped (I left this out since the hubby doesn't like it)

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 teaspoon brown sugar

1/2 teaspoon hot pepper sauce (I used a full teaspoon...I like things with a bite)

1/2 teaspoon dried basil

1/2 teaspoon dried oregano

1 bay leaf, crumbled

1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper

1/2 teaspoon black pepper

Cooking day

Combine all ingredients except chicken. Place chicken quarters in a freezer bag and pour marinade over chicken. Freeze

Serving day

Thaw completely. Brush chicken with marinade and grill over medium heat, until chicken is tender and cooked through.

(per serving): 184 calories, 15g total fat, 31mg cholesterol, 143mg sodium, 4g total carbs, 1g dietary fiber. 8g protein.

This is the finished product ready to go into the freezer. The way I freeze mine is to line a dish with non-stick foil. Put everything in it and stick it in the freezer. When it is frozen (depends on what it is weather it's hours or a day) then I take it out of the dish and vacuum seal it in my FoodSaver machine. That way there is no air to make ice crystals or freezer burn.

Now it's time to make the Broccoli Casserole. Here is the recipe for that one:

Broccoli Rice Casserole

4 cups fresh broccoli florets
1/2 cup butter, melted
1/4 cup onion, chopped
10 ounce can cream of mushroom soup
8 ounces Velveeta cheese, cubed
1 cup cooked rice

Cooking day
In a large, covered saucepan, cook broccoli in a small amount of boiling water for 6-8 minutes, until crisp tender. Drain well. In a large skillet, saute onion in melted butter over medium heat for 2-3 minutes. Add soup, then cheese, stirring until cheese is melted and well blended. Add broccoli and rice to soup mixture. Place in a lined 9 x 13 baking dish and freeze.

Serving day
Unwrap, return to original baking dish, and thaw completely. Bake uncovered at 350 degrees for 25-30 minutes or until heated through.

Ok so this one is not so figure friendly but the hubby will like it and I can get some veggies in just a little scoop. I used minute rice instead of regular rice because it tends no to get as sticky and clumpy. Since this dish is fairly high in calories, I froze it in smaller batches. The picture above is for tonight's dinner. The rest I froze in a bread loaf size pan.

Well now that I have a couple of dishes under my belt, it's time to wash the dishes so I can fix dinner. Some days I wish for a dishwasher. I've heard if you have kids it's cheaper, lol. But for now, it's me and the sink. *sigh*

I hope you enjoyed today's dishes. Off to another day.....

November's trip to the surgeon

We started out around 5:20am or so on 11/6/09. The rental car place didn't have our usual Pontiac G6 so we had to settle for a Kia Amante. Yeah right...settle....I think not!!! Jim LOVED the car!!! It had every little gadget you could ever think of.

The ride went smoothly, and I actually stayed awake the whole time!!!!

This is Jim enjoying the car just after we paid our toll. He was trying not to smile for the camera. I however had other plans!!! Muwahahahahaha!!!!

The sky was absolutely gorgeous!!! I tried to get a better shot but the cars on the bridge were not cooperating. Darn San Francisco drivers!! lol. This was the best shot I could get. But it's still really pretty.

We have a tradition every month when we go to SF for my doctors appointment. First we stop in at a Denny's and have breakfast, and much needed coffee for Jim. Then we head on over to the Walgreen's that is in the parking lot. I usually get some obnoxious toy to torment Jim on the trip. This time I got myself a HUGE Bobo that squeaked!!! And it was BRIGHT green too!!!! Here is Jim and my Bobo getting acquainted. LOL.

We got to my doctor's office and they took my weight......347!!! I'm down 6 pounds!!!!!! And that is without exercise and WITH eating some chocolate all month!!! Just think of what I could do if I got back on track. One could only hope. Then the nurse took my blood pressure....hee hee hee.....it was 98/49. She asked me how I was feeling....I was feeling fine! I didn't know I was dead. LOL. She took it again on the other arm and it came out 121/79. Now that's better.

Anyway, I talked to my surgeons assistant and he told me that the 6 pounds was good but they want me to loose 8-10 a month. No problem!! So no fill this month and I go back again on 12/4/09. I WILL have a significant weight lose by then. Now where to hide all of that chocolate from me.......wait I can't tell you, then I can find out where I hid it. Okay can you tell I've lost my mind?!?!?! It must be the cold I got. Hee hee hee.

Four cheese Italian Minestrone

I see my surgeon's assistant tomorrow to see how my last fill has been doing. I'm a little anxious about it, as I have been stressing over other things and still eating chocolate. *Sigh* My portion sizes however, have been considerately smaller and I have been eating better, other than the chocolate.

So with that in mind, I decided that I need to get back to making a meal plan for every week, and fixing meals that can be easily fixed or heated for those days when I am gone all day. Today was one of those "cooking" days. I was going to make some other soup but realized that I didn't have enough corn. Then I was going to make some Cajun chicken, and I didn't have enough diced tomatoes. What is this?!?!?! Is the world against me?!?!? Ha ha!!! I shall over come!!!

Ok, so I decided to make some Minestrone instead. A while ago I had found this awesome cookbook called "Don't Panic, Dinner is in the Freezer". It has some fantastic recipes in it and I can tweak them to fit my dietary needs. Since Fall is here and Winter is on the way, I thought that some soups in the freezer would be wonderful. So before I rattle on any further, here is the recipe and how I tweaked it for us.

Four cheese Italian Minestrone

1/4 cup olive oil
1 cup onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
4 sprigs flat leaf parsley, chopped ( I used dried parsley)
2 stalks celery, finely chopped (I used celery seed @ 1/4 teaspoon)
3 carrots, sliced (I used baby carrots sliced)
8 oz fresh mushrooms, sliced
5 cups canned tomatoes (diced or pureed) (I used 2 cans of diced tomatoes and some fresh tomatoes pureed to make up the 5 cups)
2 cups beef broth
1 teaspoon oregano
1 teaspoon basil
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
15 oz can green beans, undrained
15 oz can cannelloni or great northern beans, undrained (I didn't use these, I don't like beans)
1/2 pound sweet Italian turkey sausage, cooked, crumbled, and drained, {optional} (I used a 1 pound chub of ground turkey and added some Italian seasoning to it when I cooked it)

Serving day ~
I cup small tube or elbow pasta

Cooking day ~
In a stockpot, heat olive oil on medium heat and saute onions, garlic, parsley, celery, carrots, and mushrooms until crisp tender. Place tomatoes in a blender and blend until fairly smooth. Add tomato puree, beef broth, oregano, basil, salt, pepper, green beans, cannelloni/northern beans, and seasonings according to personal taste. Add Italian cheese and stir until just melted. Cool completely. Freeze.

Serving day ~
Thaw soup to a slushy consistency. Reheat, simmering, for 20-30 minutes. Meanwhile, cook pasta in water according to package directions. Drain and add to simmering soup. Ladle into bowls and top with additional Italian cheese as desired.

I browned the turkey until it was no longer pink. I didn't want it to dry out and get tough. I added the dried Italian seasoning to the start of cooking the turkey, so the flavor permeated all of the meat.

You can see that I used the baby carrots instead of regular carrots. This way they cook more evenly and they are smaller bites so it is easier for me to chew. I also cut my mushrooms really thick. This way the mushrooms retain their shape and you get a good bite and not some shrivled up little piece.

And the finished product in a tuperware getting ready to be frozen. The way that I freeze soups and things are by freezing them in a tuperware that will fit into my soup pot. Once they are frozen enough to be taken out of the tupperware, I then seal it in one of my FoodSaver bags and take out all of the air so it lasts longer. When it's time to eat it, I can cut open the FoodSaver bag, put the soup in the pot, let it defrost, then simmer to hot. Yumm!!!!

I hope you give this a try and let me know if you like it and how you may have changed the recipe. Photos of your handywork is great too!!!

Enjoy!!!

Halloween's end for 2009

Whew, I made it through another Halloween. Well it wasn't all that bad, because I didn't really do anything but make cards, pumpkins, and goodies. But it was Halloween after all.

This must have been the demon that attached it's self onto me after watching the movie "Paranormal Activity". lol. The movie stunk but at least I got to spend an evening with Jim. That was nice.


These were some of the dog treats I made for the neighbors for their "BOO" bags. As you can see how could I resist that face, Shadow got some too!!!

These are some of the pumpkins I carved for this year. They are funkins, made from foam. The tree and the moon and clouds are one pumpkin. The tree is the front and the moon is the back that casts a shadow. The second pumpkin is one I made for a friend, Spencer. It too has a shadow but it was a little harder to photograph. The shadow for this one was "Trick or Treat". I think they came out kind of cool myself.

Now you know I couldn't have gone without decorating my table!! Just a few little simple things for fun. We went out to eat but it was fun putting stuff on the table anyway!!!

This is a card I made for Spencer. And yes I cut out the zombies by hand!!!! They are only about 21/2" tall!!! It was fun making though. It lays flat to mail and then it pops up to stand when you open it.

Here is another one of the same type of card. This one was my first attempt. Not bad eh?!?

And my last card of the season.

Here are the goodies I sent off to Jim's work. The box with the Hershey bar, I made from scratch. The feet say..."Trick or treat smell my feet give me something good to eat.". The hands are licorice vines to make it look like veins. Ok so you have to use your imagination!!! And the cauldron is filled with chocolate covered marshmallows.

All in all it was fun to do. It was a labor of love this year. Everything that I started to do, something went wrong with. But I prevailed and as always....had my Halloween. So now that this year has come to an end, it's time to start building and crafting for next year. Yep, I said it....I'm starting now for next year!!!!

My one year surgiversary....

My one year surgiversary has come and gone. October 20, 2008 was my surgery date. It's hard to believe that a year has passed and I am still fat. It's by my own doing but man....

I have seen my surgeon (10/7/09) and received another fill. I now have 10ccs in my 14cc band. It is now working more like it should have. I still have to be really careful of what and how much I eat. I am finding that first thing in the morning is the hardest. I think it's because that's when I inhale food to get the rest of my day in motion. It could be too that everything shrinks back down to normal size too. But whatever the reason, I am dealing with it.

Friday, 11/6/09, I see my surgeons assistant to see how the last fill is going. I'm hoping to be down at least 10 pounds but we will see. I was a bad girl and ate some Halloween candy this whole last month. It so sucks that candy and sweets go down with absolutely no problem!!!! ARG!!!! So all the candy is packed away now!!

I am also back onto tracking all of my food again. Man I didn't realize how much food I was really eating. When I started logging again, I was paying attention to what I was eating and my tummy was a grumbling all of the time!!!!! Sorry tummy....you're gonna have to deal with it.

So here comes the time of year that is going to be the hardest. We'll see how I make it through. Wish me luck!

I've been a craftin'....

This is a candy box I made for Jim's boss. It will be filled with Rocky Road candy. The skull on the top of the box is embossed. It came out very nicely if I do say so myself and of course I DID!!! lol.

These are a few recipe cards I made to go with the dog treats I made and put in some "BOO" bags for my neighbors. Nothing super special, but I thought that they came out cute.

These are a few of my layered cards. The "Don't Open" card has a picture of a heavy person necked with a pumpkin airbrushed on their bottom. Hee hee. I'm so twisted I even scare myself. LOL.

Here are a few of my 3D cards. There is something on every card that stands out. These are my favorite to make, but they really take time cutting out all of the images. Yep I do them all by hand and not with a fancy die cut machine. I like it better that way.

And this was my first attempt at a pop up card. The image on the left is the cover and the image on the right is the inside. It's too plain for my taste. Something is missing. Well it was a first attempt anyway. Will have to work on this method a little more.

I hope you enjoyed my creations. I enjoyed making them.