Last night I went in early to the gym to make sure I got in my strength training, cardio, and karate. I was able to do it all but boy was I tired.
This morning, I was feeling good but my left shoulder was killing me. I couldn't move it without some sort of pain. But the day had to go on. Since I had gone to the gym last night, I covered my training for today.
I got up and didn't want to make anything, and didn't really want to eat cottage cheese. I remembered that I made some mini quiches. I grabbed four of them and heated them up in the toaster oven. I grabbed about a tablespoon of ranch dressing and a bottle of water with Crystal Light in it and that was breakfast. I wasn't hungry afterwards, but I wasn't really full either. But I didn't want to eat anymore. When I was at the gym last night I weighed myself and I had gained another two pounds since I saw Zach, my trainer, last week.
Four hours later, it was lunch time. Again, I didn't feel like fixing anything. I really didn't care if I ate or not. But I knew I had to eat. I got out some leftover chicken meat from the tortilla-less chicken enchiladas I made last week. I heated up the chicken, added about an ounce of cheese, and a half a cup of lettuce to equal my cup of food. Well it was a little to hot to eat, and while I was waiting for it to cool down, I decided to have a spoonful of ice cream. That spoonful ended up to the rest of the carton. Now granted that only added up to about two cups of ice cream but it was still totally gluttonous. I didn't even really want the ice cream but the one spoonful but once I got started, it was like I couldn't stop. The worst part of all of this is that after the ice cream, I ate the salad I made too. Then about an hour later I ate a snack size bag of chips. Another hour later I ate another snack size bag of carmel popcorn, 100 calorie, but by this time it didn't matter.
What is wrong with me. When am I going to be able to get back on track. What is it going to take. I wanted to lose 50 pounds by Wendy's wedding, but I'll never make it like this. I'll be lucky if I don't put on 50 pounds. The sad thing is that I don't think I was overly stressed, depressed, sad, or bored. So why did I just stuff my face. This is something that I'm really going to have to watch. It's going to be hard, but I have to get back into only a cup of food a meal, good choices, no carbs, and logging every little thing that goes into my mouth. I may have to resort to getting rid of all of the sweets in the house until I can get myself under control. I hate to do that because then I feel like I am depriving Jim of his snacks because I can't quit eating. But I have to do something.
I'm going to bake some fish tonight for dinner, but starting tomorrow morning, I'm going back to my two protein shakes a day and one meal with actual food. Something has to happen, and I don't like the way it's going now.
