Things are looking up for me.

It's been awhile since I've been blogging, because there has really not been anything worth blogging about.  My life was kind of stale and I wasn't really doing anything.  That is going to change and has started changing!!!

I have gained a new gym partner and new motivation.  I had asked my Facebook and Myspace friends to help me stay accountable by making sure I post that I have worked out each day.  That has worked so far but by actually having a partner to work out with has helped tons.  I don't want to let him down, especially since he asked if I could help him with his strength training.

I have now revamped my exercise schedule to every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I do cardio twice a day, and strength training twice a day.  On Tuesday, Thursday and Saturdays I just do cardio twice a day.  I take time to rest on Sunday....very needed rest I might add!!!  LOL.  Oh how could I forget....I am going to take a belly dancing class for an hour every Friday night!!!  I have the belly....I might as well put it to use!!  LOL!!!!

I am continuing my journey of getting back to me.  It has been hard putting myself first when I have put others before me all my life.  But I am feeling fantastic and I'm regaining my self esteem and confidence.  I haven't really seen or felt a very happy Tristine for a long time.  She's back now, and is looking to play and make up for some lost times.  I want to experience everything!!!!  I want to go back dancing, riding roller coasters, rock climbing, you name it, I want to try it!!!

So that's it for today....so far, the day is young and so am I!!  I've finished my protein shake and now it's time to get ready for the gym.  I hope to see you back here again.  Enjoy life every chance you can!!  Hugs all.

The Monday after...

LOL!!!!  My title sounds like a bad B movie!!!  Well the Monday after Easter has come and gone.  Easter was good except for the fact that I ate some real sugar in the form of a piece of chocolate cake with ice cream, and had 3 cookies, all before 10 am!!!!  Oh did my tummy feel it!!  I felt so yucky!!!  We didn't eat dinner until almost 4pm.  Then we had Taco Bell and that didn't sit well either!!  So, I guess it's back to eating the right way!!!  It is getting harder and harder to eat fast food, which is a good thing, but it makes it hard to grab something quick.  But that's ok, because I am losing weight and feeling good!!!

So yesterday, it took me almost half and hour to talk myself into going to the gym.  I hadn't gone in three days and I knew I had to get back.  Especially after Easter!!!  After I drug myself out of bed, I had to eat some form of protein so I could do my strength training.  I didn't have time to drink a protein shake, and I didn't want a cup of fluid in my stomach while I was on the treadmill.  I opted for some thin sliced chicken lunchmeat.  I either ate it too fast or didn't chew it up good enough because I only got through about three slices and was done!!!!  So off to the gym I went.  Oh, I didn't want to leave the house.  After really dragging my feet, I arrived at the gym around 4:05am.  I climbed up the stairs, would have loved to take the elevator but didn't, and headed towards the dreaded scale.  I was almost afraid to look!!!  But I have to know how much so I can program the treadmill.  I was pleasantly surprised when the scale read that I had LOST three pounds!!!!  Wholly cow!!!!!  That means that I am only seven pounds away from 100 pounds lost!!!!  I was instantly energized.   Well at least for a minute.  I started the treadmill....my feet felt like lead weights.  Every step seemed to just drag on and on.  It took me a good fifteen minutes again before I had hit my stride and the time sort of flew after that.  The only problem is now that I have to start kicking up the speed.  I am having a hard time getting my heart rate up again.  Darn it!!!  I know, no pain, no gain.  Sheeze, who ever thought that statement up needs to be slapped!!!!  LOL

I got through the workout, didn't do any strength training, I was running out of time.  Got home, and got Jim off to work.  When I came back home, it felt sooo good to get in the shower!!!  Oh I could have stayed in there for hours.  Sigh.....Shadow convinced me to go lay down for a minute in bed with her and the next thing I know, we have fallen asleep for an hour!!!!  But hey, we all need some cuddle time with our pets/kids right!!!  I thought so!!!  LOL.  I got a call from a friend of mine who is still in England.  Wow he's been there for a month now!!!  Anyway, it was nice to hear from him and of course he showered me with well wishes and happy thoughts.  He sent some prayers my way for the job fair today.  We talked for just a few minutes, then I had to go.  I had to go take mom to her physical therapy again.

The gentleman that does mom's physical therapy is a kick in the pants!!!  He is sooo funny.  Mom bought him a chocolate bunny last week for Easter and he was thrilled.  We got talking about how mom and Kelly were eating gummy bears in front of me and he said that he would work mom extra hard for me to make up for it!!!  LOL.  So yesterday, I brought him some gummy coke bottles.  He had mentioned that he really liked them, so I thought I would return the favor for putting mom through the paces.  I know I'm evil, but hey turn around is fair play right?!?!?!  LOL.  We spent the whole half hour joking and laughing while mom had to do her physical therapy.  It was a fun morning!!!

After mom's appointment, they were dying to go to the dollar store.  Hours later....not really just seems like that.  Mom and Kelly were hungry, and I had brought some coupons to go out to eat.  Well they decided they wanted Carl's Jr.s.  Well that would have been fine but we got there at 1pm and it was packed!!!!  So I took them to Jimboys instead.  I ordered two chicken tacos.  I ate three quarters of one taco, lost about a quarter of it and was done!!!  The other taco went home for Jim!!  Once again, fast food is not my friend.  You would think I'd learn or something huh!!!  I finally took mom and Kelly home then off to meet Jim at work.  I had bought Jeffrey and Sann some onion garlic cashews and wanted to make sure they got them.  Oh Jim is going to kill me.  He hates the smell of those things!!!  Muwahahahaha!!!!!  Did I mention, I think I'm evil!!!!

I got some much needed support from Jeffrey about todays job fair, as Jim relaxed with a beer.  What more could you want out of life?  We headed home.

A Happy Easter indeed!!

Happy Easter everyone!!!  Well this year, I am feeling good about who and what I am.  However, I do not like this photo!!!  Sheeze!!!  Anyway, this is one of my new dresses for my new size me.  In the photo it looks like it just hangs but really there is a waist and some boobs in there!!!  LOL

I couldn't tell you why I am leaning though.  Ha ha ha.  Maybe there was some hip action that I was unaware of!!  lol.

This morning, Jim and I picked up mom and Kelly and took them out to breakfast at the Golden Corrall.  It is the end of my Lent promise and I had every intention of eating something bad!!!!  Well first thing this morning, when I got up, I ate a piece of Jim's Pot of Gold candy.  I thought I was going to hurl!!!  It was sooo sickening sweet.  Yuck!!  Hey wait a minute....did I just say yuck to chocolate?!?!?!  OMG where is the pod.  Yep that's right.  It was too sweet for me.

So when we got to the resturant, I got some eggs, ham, sausage, hashbrowns and some mushrooms.  I couldn't eat the sausage, it wouldn't break down enough even chewing it 30 times!!!!  I was able to eat the scrambled eggs with the mushrooms mixed in with them, but the ham and the hasbrowns...took another journey.  Yep, I couldn't keep those guys down.  That's ok though.  I then had some cottage cheese with pears, some apples, and something else that I can't remember right now.  Wow must have made a lasting impression on me.  Welll that stuff went down ok.

Then it was time for dessert!!!!  Oh the joy...chocolate cake!!!!  I had a piece of cake with some vanilla ice cream on it, two chocolate chip cookies and a peanut butter cookie.  They all grossed me out.  I ate them...but I know I won't do that again!!!  Have I finally gotten over my obsession with sweets?!?!   Wow that would be nice!!!  Let's see how I do with the bread, pasta, and rice thing.  I am continuing with not eating those things from here on out.  Naturally I won't be as strick as I was for Lent but I am going to be pretty close!!!  I don't want to lose what I have started.  The losing weight and feeling good about myself is fantastic!!!  I don't want to lose this feeling again!!!  Now if I can stay away from cameras I'll be ok.  I still hate the way I look in photos!!!  I never feel like I look like me!!  ARG!!!!!

Anyway, I didn't eat too much except for the sweets and now we are home.  Time to get a move on my resume for Tuesday.  Who knows I may actually push hard for a job!!!  I'm not going to get my hopes up too high.  I don't want to be let down, but I have to try right?!?!!  RIGHT!!!

So I hope you all had a great Easter!!!  I did.  Hugs to you all!!!!

Something unexpected

A lot has happened this week.  I know, get off your can and write about it and not leave us guessing.  Sorry, I will trya nd get better.

To start the week off, I had to take mom in for some physical therapy.  She is doing really good too.  However, she made the mistake of telling her PT that Kelly and her were eating gummy worms under my nose!!!!  So he promised me that he would work her hard...lol!!!!  After I took them back home, I had talked to a friend of mine who is still looking for a job.  I found an e-mail that there is a job fair being held Tuesday April 6th at 10am.  Well he has an appointment with EDD (unemployment) and can't make it.  So I told him that I would go and check it out for him to see who is hiring and what is out there.  Then I got thinking....this would be a good time for me to look to see what is out there for me.  It's been seven years since I have been in the work force and I need to see what I am up against.  Not to mention that I am feeling really good about myself right now and would be able to carry myself professionally.  I'm not, but I am, looking for a job.  I'm not taking any resume's with me because mine really needs to be worked over.  I am the same person as before but the wording is not right for me now.  But should I talk with someone that would like to talk to me further....I'm not against it.

I was going to wear the same outfit I wore last Easter.  It's a little frilly for job searching but I didn't want to buy new clothes for something I wasn't serious about.  I felt good in it and looked fairly good too.  So that's that.  I had made my decision.

Tuesday comes along and I have to take Kelly into get some lab work done, then mom to the doctor to see about her eye sugery.  Yep the surgery is still on for April 13th.  Sigh.  But she needs to get it done.  Well time got away from us and I wasn't able to take them shopping.  So I told mom that I would come back out the next day to take them shopping.  I'm glad I did!!!

In the back of my mind, I am thinking about this job fair.  I am starting to get excited about going, even if I don't really get a job.  I have been doing some writting for a friend of mine and it's bringing out the old me.  The over achiever, administrative me.  It feels good!!!  I feel good about me!!!!  Yep, you heard me....I FEEL GOOD ABOUT ME!!!!  So we are walking around WalMart and I happen to see this cute blouse that is on clearance.  The blouse is a size 4x.  I know a 4x will come close to fitting because that is the size of the outfit I was going to wear.  Not to mention, I had gone through my closet and all of my old dress clothes are huge!!!  No way could I look professional in those!!!  Sigh....some of those outfits, I had only worn once or twice, and they were nice outfits too.  Anyway, looking a little further, I found a blue and white dress, also in a 4x.  I thought, what the hey, at least try it on.  Well I went and grabbed my mom and made her come with me for support.  I tried on the blouse, too tight around the belly for me to be comfortable.  Then I tried on the dress, OMG it fits and looks really nice on me!!!!  I couldn't believe it!!!  The best part is that I can't really see how big my belly is!!!!  I look hot!!!!  So I grab the dress and we finish out our day.  I go home and show Jim what I found.  Not to mention, it was only eighteen dollars!!!!  My clothes usually cost like fifty to sixty at least!!!  I tried it on for him and he was amazed and so happy for me.

The next day, Jim took me to Catherine's to look for a suit for the job fair.  When we got there, I found two outfits that fit and looked really nice on me too.  I can't believe this.  I have never been so happy shopping.  I also found three bras that I liked and they fit really well too!!!  It was such a joy to go shopping again and feel like a woman again.

The next couple of days was spent looking for the right shoes out of my closet, the right jewelry to wear, and as all women know...the right purse to carry.  The only thing that was eluding me was a pair of control panties.  I wore them with my outfit last Easter to help keep the belly tight but now I can't find them.  UGH!!!  I will feel much more confident if I have them on.  Even though I always hold my tummy in, I get tired, that's a lot of weight to be holding up.  So with the panties on I can relax every once and a while.  Well as of today I couldn't find them.  I didn't want to go buy a pair because who knows when I will ever need them again.  So as I'm doing laundry, I look around to some of the old clothes that I have saved from when I was thinner.  I found the girdle that I wore for my wedding 13 years ago!!!  Now, my dress was a size 30 but I only weighed 260 pounds.  I am currently weighing in at 325!!!  Now that is a difference of 65 pounds!!!  I have to admit, I didn't think I could even get it over my hips let alone over my belly.  But I hooked it all up and zippered the side and pulled them on.  It took a little arranging but I was in them and they were not uncomfortable!!!  The legs were even big!!!!  OMG!!!!!  I can't be any more excited!!!  This is SO empowering to me that I'm not even sure I could explain it to you!!!

My outfit for Tuesday is a white jacket with black trim, a black and white plaid A-line skirt that hits about my knees, black and white platform heels (about 4 inches tall), and a gold necklace and earrings.  And let me tell you, I feel hot!!!  I know I am still quite large but I feel really good about myself.  Oh you don't know how long I have waited to say that and really mean it!!

I have also done really good with my Lent sacrifice, and have not eaten any rice, bread, pasta, or sugar.  In fact it's going so good that I am going to keep it up even after Easter.  Yep, I said after Easter, I have to have some sugar....ok chocolate!!!  LOL.  But then it's back to being good.

Well that is all for now.  Jim and I are taking mom and Kelly out for breakfast tomorrow for Easter, then it's home to relax with the hubby.  I'll post some pictures of me in my new clothes as I get them taken.

I hope you all have a fantastic Easter and that all your dreams and wishes come true.  It really can happen!!!!