Monday, June 10, 2013

My motivation/inventive jar

I tried this earlier in the year....I think it was February or so. It didn't motivate me then but then again I don't think I was ready. I still struggled with restriction issues and my lapband and I think it was easier to find an excuse with it not to go to the gym than I honestly care to admit....even though I do truly love going to he gym. Well I am I hope in a better frame of mind this time and I have no excuses....well I can always come up with some kind of excuse because I'm creative...lol. Seriously though, my lapband is unrestricted and I can eat anything I want which is forcing me to be aware of what and how much I eat, and to be accountable for every bite. I must return to my will power and determination to get me through. I know I can do it...I had to do it before I got the surgery....and its been the only weight that has stayed off! So I must go to that place again!

This jar, as you see holds money, and not just any money....a dollar is placed in this jar everytime I complete a gym session. A gym session is 45 minutes of cardio, and another is 30-45 minutes strength training. If I do cardio and not strength training it's a dollar put in, but here is my restriction....since I prefer strength training....if I only do strength training that day, no money is put in because I didn't do any cardio. Sucks I know...lol but I know me. If I do strength AND cardio then I get two dollars put in as motivation. The potential to add up is great, as my normal routine used to be (and what I want to return to) is cardio 5 days a week and strength training 3 days a week.

Here is the motivation/incentive part. When the jar has $100 in it I will change it to a hundred dollar bill and I will reward myself with something small for me....no food rewards!!! Maybe a couple pair of earrings or a new item of clothing, something $40 or less. Then as my jar gets to $200 I will change it out with another hundred dollar bill and reward myself again with something medium sized....again no food rewards!! Something not more than $60 for this one. Finally when the jar reaches $300 I will again change it out to the hundred dollar bill but I will make a reassessment of how to continue. I will reward myself with something larger and then go from there.

My goal is to be under 200 pounds....even if it means 199 pounds! I used to want to weigh 165 but I don't think I will look good and I want to still be curvy, but strong and most important healthy and happy with me!

Today a dollar was put in! I am anxious to see how quickly it fills.

The battle of the bulge....the saga continues....

About 3 weeks ago I had my lapband loosened by 3cc. I wasn't able to eat the foods I needed to eat. The only food that would stay down were sweets and soft foods no good proteins. I had my metabolism checked and it showed I need to eat more calories but good calories. Good news is now that my band is loose I can eat....anything! Bad news is....I can eat anything!

I tried on a skirt that used to be baggy on me yesterday and it fit snugly. I have felt weight coming on but didn't address it as I should have. Well when the skirt was tight I decided I don't care how badly my foot hurts I can't not go to the gym anymore!

Went to the gym this morning wanting to tackle the world and push myself till I broke....but knew that was not what I needed to do. I weighed in hoping that the scale said 353 like normal.....but no.....it said 362!!! It was hard not to beat myself up. I got on the treadmill and started in. I pushed as hard as I dared....but I must admit my head was not totally in it.....but I went and that's the point...now to follow through....no eating out, no junk food, no alcohol, start logging my food, and measuring my portions. No screwing around! Time to make time for me! I don't want this weight anymore! I must find the strength and motivation within me to keep up the fight and to succeed! So first step started....time to keep them going.