I'm still having trouble trying to get more than 3 hours of sleep, but this morning I forced myself to get some more sleep after I woke up at 1am. I was only able to get 2 more hours but I will take what I can get.
Today was a day of preparing for the rest of, well, life. I had to go out and buy some more chicken to boil up for Shadow, since that seems to be the only thing that she is handling right now, and I'm not messing with a good thing. I am loving the fact that I can see a slight change in her appearance, it could be wishful thinking, but I think she is not so skinny now. She is still really sick and skinny but she is such a strong girl and is fighting with all she can. So I will fight right with her!!!!
I am finding that I have to be really task orientated in making sure everything gets done. I still have all the responsibilities that I had before, but now there is no time for slacking off or letting things slide. If I have to take care of my mom and sister, it has to be done around Shadows schedule not theirs. My baby has to come first above all else!!!
So I have to get back into the routine of cooking meals ahead of time to make sure everything fits into place. It's going to be a little stressful for awhile until I get the routine down, but I can do it. I am also making sure that I am going to take care of myself above all else too! I can't take care of Shadow if I don't take care of me. I can't be heavy and run down with no energy to make time with her. And as you all know she is the light of my life!
So that is what the days hold in store for me. But I can do it!! I have to do it!!! There is no other choice for me!
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Saturday, October 23, 2010
A new reason to get back on track!
I wish I could say that life has been an uphill journey since my last posting, but sadly it has not. I have all but sort of given up on myself and have just been living. I have had a lot of responsibilities but that is nothing new for me and my life. I thought that after I took care of my sisters MediCal issues I could return to taking care of myself.
Here is where I struggle. Is it an excuse that I have had too much going on that I haven't gotten back to the gym and myself or is it just a fact of life. I never seem to have enough time in a day to get everything I want or need to get done. I have resorted to getting only 3-4 hours of sleep a night even wearing my CPAP machine. So I'm not sure that is a good thing either. I want to get back on track because I am soooo not happy with how I look and feel, but what is it going to take to get me where I need to be again?
Well a few things have fallen into place that I think the universe is trying to tell me to get off my arse and do something. First of all, a friend is going to help us with letting us buy his transmission from his car (newly rebuilt) to put in my car. He is even willing to help put it in. So I can finally have wheels again and maybe be able to get a better job. Then the HUGE wake up call his this last week. Shadow has been feeling sick and has been throwing up and urinating everywhere. She was losing weight like crazy!!!!! I couldn't stand it anymore, so we took her in to the vet. This is after we fixed her urinary tract infection and her hip dysplacia.
So we took her in and the vet ran some blood work on her along with some X-rays. He came back out and told us that she is diabetic!!!! And her blood sugars are 576!!! He told us that it should be able to be controlled by insulin, food and exercise. Two days later she couldn't keep any food down or water. So I called the vet again. Of course he said that he wanted to see her right away. We took her back in and the other vet looked at her and said wow she has lost a ton of weight. That didn't sound good. And the way he was looking at her didn't sound good either!!! He took her glucose reading again and it was still 505 after an insulin shot 18 hours earlier. He told us that the only options we had are to either admit her to the hospital and have IV's and insulin to get her back on track or to split up her insulin and hope for the best. I was ready to go the hospital route until the vet called and said that 2 days of hospitalization was going to cost $3500!!!! There is no way we can afford that. I asked the vet honestly, what do you think.... He said that if it was his dog, he would give it about 48 hours and if she doesn't respond, then we should put her down. There was no consoling me at that point. I couldn't lose my baby!!! Not now. The vet gave me all of her medical charts in case I wanted to do the hospital thing.
We took her home and I was determined to get her to eat. I boiled up some chicken and some baby carrots and put them in the food processor. She ate it! We watched her for hours and she never threw it up again. I fixed her some more and she ate that too! She was drinking water all day and we watched for that to come up and it never did! I fed her the last portion of chicken and carrots and then her insulin.
Last night she slept all night. Not once did she have to get up to go potty or to get sick! I think we are well on our way to success!!!!
So who would think that it would take my baby to become diabetic and almost losing her for me to get off my arse and take care of myself. If I don't take care of myself, who is going to take care of her. So now, not only do I plan weekly menus for us, but for her as well. Shadow and I have to figure out an exercise schedule but I am dedicated to the long and happy life of Shadow and with that.....I am dedicated to the long and happy life of Tristine. Wow who knew!
Here is where I struggle. Is it an excuse that I have had too much going on that I haven't gotten back to the gym and myself or is it just a fact of life. I never seem to have enough time in a day to get everything I want or need to get done. I have resorted to getting only 3-4 hours of sleep a night even wearing my CPAP machine. So I'm not sure that is a good thing either. I want to get back on track because I am soooo not happy with how I look and feel, but what is it going to take to get me where I need to be again?
Well a few things have fallen into place that I think the universe is trying to tell me to get off my arse and do something. First of all, a friend is going to help us with letting us buy his transmission from his car (newly rebuilt) to put in my car. He is even willing to help put it in. So I can finally have wheels again and maybe be able to get a better job. Then the HUGE wake up call his this last week. Shadow has been feeling sick and has been throwing up and urinating everywhere. She was losing weight like crazy!!!!! I couldn't stand it anymore, so we took her in to the vet. This is after we fixed her urinary tract infection and her hip dysplacia.
So we took her in and the vet ran some blood work on her along with some X-rays. He came back out and told us that she is diabetic!!!! And her blood sugars are 576!!! He told us that it should be able to be controlled by insulin, food and exercise. Two days later she couldn't keep any food down or water. So I called the vet again. Of course he said that he wanted to see her right away. We took her back in and the other vet looked at her and said wow she has lost a ton of weight. That didn't sound good. And the way he was looking at her didn't sound good either!!! He took her glucose reading again and it was still 505 after an insulin shot 18 hours earlier. He told us that the only options we had are to either admit her to the hospital and have IV's and insulin to get her back on track or to split up her insulin and hope for the best. I was ready to go the hospital route until the vet called and said that 2 days of hospitalization was going to cost $3500!!!! There is no way we can afford that. I asked the vet honestly, what do you think.... He said that if it was his dog, he would give it about 48 hours and if she doesn't respond, then we should put her down. There was no consoling me at that point. I couldn't lose my baby!!! Not now. The vet gave me all of her medical charts in case I wanted to do the hospital thing.
We took her home and I was determined to get her to eat. I boiled up some chicken and some baby carrots and put them in the food processor. She ate it! We watched her for hours and she never threw it up again. I fixed her some more and she ate that too! She was drinking water all day and we watched for that to come up and it never did! I fed her the last portion of chicken and carrots and then her insulin.
Last night she slept all night. Not once did she have to get up to go potty or to get sick! I think we are well on our way to success!!!!
So who would think that it would take my baby to become diabetic and almost losing her for me to get off my arse and take care of myself. If I don't take care of myself, who is going to take care of her. So now, not only do I plan weekly menus for us, but for her as well. Shadow and I have to figure out an exercise schedule but I am dedicated to the long and happy life of Shadow and with that.....I am dedicated to the long and happy life of Tristine. Wow who knew!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)