Well this morning was a little easier to swallow...breakfast that is. I almost went for the same old cottage cheese but then I thought, if I screw up around lunch time (the hardest time of the day for my eating binges) I need to have a carb, fat, and sugar free meal. So I whipped up some chopped canadian bacon, bell pepper, onion, one mushroom, with one quarter cup of Egg Beaters. Yumm. The best thing about the whole meal was that it was only 101 calories!!!
I then decided to watch a movie with Shadow while I was doing some laundry. Well the laundry came first because I didn't want to keep stopping the movie. I know that's why there is a pause button, but you lose some of the flow when you do that. Anyway, by the time Shadow and I sat down to watch a movie, "Angels and Demons" I was hooked. I almost forgot to eat!!! Either that or I just ignored myself. lol. The later is probably more the truth than anything.
So lunch time....what to eat. I can't just make a sandwich, no bread, I don't want any soup, I don't want to mess with making up a salad, AAARRRGGGG!!! Oh hey!!.....I have some veggie bites, Spinach and Artichoke (Morning Star). Yummm. They are a little bigger than chicken nuggets but they are all veggie. I had five left, and a serving size is 4. What the heck, I cooked them all. Eighteen minutes later...ding...they were done. But.....why must there always be a but, while I was cleaning the kitchen, I found the old Halloween stash of Whoppers, Almond Joy, Rocky Road, etc. Without even thinking, I grabbed a few, and yes I ate them!!!! I did log that I ate them though, so it's not like I was just eating them and denying it. With the candy bars, I went over my fat and carb alotment. I didn't however go over my calories yet!!! As for the fifth veggie bite....well Shadow got that one...sorry Jim (now both his wife and his dog are going to gas him out of the room tonight).
I have decided not to go to the gym tonight. I'm going to give myself a day's break. I also found out yesterday that my trainer (who I haven't seen in months) is leaving for Chicago in three weeks!!!! Great now what. I have a decision for that too. I'm going to drop my trainer account for awhile and save some money. I have the workouts that Zach and I did and I will just follow them for awhile. The gym will have another chance to get a deal on trainers again and I will sign up then. I have only been back to the gym for two days. I feel by letting go of the stress of trying to make the $200 monthly payments for the trainer, it will help with getting my head back in the game. I really am a great pusher when it comes to me working out, I just have to get motivated to get there. Getting there is sometimes the hugest battle. Trust me, I've been there. LOL.
So thankfully, today has been a better day. I am still struggling with getting in all of my water, and not replacing it with food, but I am at least aware of what I am doing. One more small step towards getting back to me. You know for a tall girl, I sure make small steps. I always did learn the hard way...lol.
