Woke up this morning feeling really good! I had gone to a yoga class for the first time ever last night and did really well and felt really good. I had hit the gym early that morning and spent the afternoon working in the backyard bent over cutting down bamboo by hand. I also drank almost a gallon of water as well (I was one 16.9oz bottle away from it!) I was pretty proud of myself. Walked into the kitchen for the daily weigh in (and no I don't do this as an obsession, I weigh every morning at the gym as well to set the treadmill it's just a habit and I don't "normally" go ballistic at the results) and wanted to cry! The four pounds I had lost the week before...were gone and I had gained an extra pound!! My heart sank. I know it's not muscle that made the weight gain. It was pure and simple fat!! Now I'm not saying that it's not my fault that I got here. I ate out with mom and my sister twice this week in a row, and did have a piece of See's candy! But I was sure I had worked off what I consumed! On top of that...my blood sugar was 131!! It's been so good. Dinner was an Asian turkey burger which I made from scratch, and I did eat a cup of soup. But then I went a couple of hours later and did an hour of yoga and really worked up a sweat. Sigh.
So rather than crying and eating everything in sight, I made myself a protein shake and added some strawberries and drank breakfast. My mind was still not settled with the weight gain. I know that I had not worked as hard as I could and should have. I let outside influences distract me. Don't get me wrong, I am by no way putting the blame on anyone but myself. I know darn well who is the cause of all of this. So after kicking myself mentally a bit, I made a very hard decision.
I had known that there is only one way for me to reach my 2 pound a week loss. I had to get rid of any distraction and focus on me! As you know, it's so much more fun to chat on Facebook, play with friends, eat out, and sit on your butt. Well I had to look at do I want to reach my goal and have a lifetime of fun or do I want to sit and have some temporary fun and waste my life away. Tough decision I know. Now a healthy minded person would look at that as a no brainer. But for me it was a bit rough. I am a very social creature and do enjoy my friends and to see what they are up to. But I don't want to be that person who can't get out of their chair. So I took a deep breath and took the plunge. I wrote a good bye to all of my friends and signed off. Now I know you are thinking....you have to have some type of communication with someone. Well I do. I have taken off all of the notices from Facebook off of my phone, but my closest friends do have my phone number and can call or text me. I am not alone. I am just not allowing myself to live through others lives. It's time I get one of my own! I felt the loss of them almost instantly as my phone didn't chime with it's ever so often ding da da ding. I found myself logging in on my phone and logging off before it ever connected. I sat there for a minute and decided...get off your butt and go move something. So I went out and did my workout. It felt good to do it. And the longing for my friends lessened a bit.
The rest of my day was a bit slow but was productive. I didn't eat everything in site, got some household chores done, and actually drank some more water! Ha ha ha!! I have made up my mind that I am going back to my protein shakes 2x a day and a healthy balanced dinner. I got away from it this last time knowing that I was going to eat out so by having cottage cheese instead I cut the calories down. But obviously my choices were not good ones. So I am going back to what I know and what worked in the past. Staying focused on me (which don't be surprised if I go a bit crazy now and then) for my greater good.
I have a long hard road ahead of me, and I know it. But I have to fight for it and through it no matter how it hurts right now. With that said......
logging off.....until tomorrow. Thank you for listening and still reading *slight smile*
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Motivation....anything I can get.
Well Happy Sunday everyone! So what are you doing? Are you sitting at home in front of the tv relaxing trying to unwind from the week you had? Or are you outside walking in the sun, playing in your garden, or having a BBQ with friends? Are you thinking oh I will start tomorrow again on my diet and exercise? I just want to relax.
I can honestly tell you that I am usually the one who is sitting watching tv, or my favorite addiction, my computer lol. The line I tell myself is that I need a day of rest to regroup and get focused again. Well I can no longer accept that way of thinking. Because when Monday comes, I'm too busy, or tired, just don't feel like it, or just don't care to (the worst of them all!) All of these are excuses I tell myself. But I have to realize that they are just that excuses! I always have time to answer a text on my phone, post something on Facebook, watch a tv show, or just veg out!! It's where your priorities lie. And as the weather gets warmer, it usually means not wanting to go outside when it's 100 degrees, but stay in the house at a chilly 68 degrees. But all that does is allow my butt to get bigger and my self esteem sink lower.
I know it's hard to keep motivated, believe me I know. Especially if you are doing this on your own. Well I am here to tell you that there are ways if you push yourself to experience them. A couple of my favorites are my CD's of people who have lost weight from my 6 Week Body Make Over set, and watching a new show on ABC called Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition. Yes I bought all of these diet and exercise things to help me loose weight in the past, why not use them for your benefit! I take what worked for me from each thing like I like the exercises and motivational CD's of the 6 Week Body Make Over set, the exercises from Exercise Ball for Dummies, the food regime from my weight loss surgery binder for the Lap Band etc. It's all about making it work for you, what makes it fun and enticing for you! Now I know I just told you to get off your but and not watch tv. So get off your butt and dance in place while you're watching or simply walk in place. I personally ride my stationary bike. Watching while exercising makes it that much more tolerable You know that old spoon full of sugar makes the medicine go down.
I will be honest with you. I am very competitive and a bit of a perfectionist. Which sometimes makes watching these shows and listening to these CDs hard to do. My head says I can do that and I've done harder than that. Why didn't it work for me. Well duh...I didn't stick with it through the whole thing. Isn't that usually the way it goes. You do great for awhile but then you plateau, family troubles, financial troubles, or you just burn out. Then you never really get back into it. That is the time, you need to switch it up and stop what you are doing and change it till it's fun again. I have fallen victim many times to the frustration of those excuses so here I sit almost 3 years after surgery only 68 pounds lighter than BEFORE my surgery!! Now if that isn't motivational I don't know what is....well it's usually not enough for me. I have let myself settle for so long not caring or wanting anything from life. Well it's time I smack my self either in the face or the butt!
So that is what I've done. That is why I am pushing so hard to stay focused and maintain this new thrive for life and a new healthier me! I know some of you may look at me and think wow I wish I had her positive attitude and drive. Let me tell you. It is a struggle every day!!!! It's not until I really get into a routine and really start seeing results that it becomes easier for me. I don't just wake up and nearly pee my pants with excitement to get to the gym. It's a push. But I push because this is something I want. If you have followed my BLOG for any length of time you will see many many many posts about starting over again, getting going again, really ready to do it this time. I am not so unlike all of you. I just get moments of drive and usually act upon them but I am human...I falter and have to start again. But I DO start again!!! Each time learning something new about myself what I like don't like, what worked, what didn't. It took me many years to put all of this on even if it was mindlessly done, it was done. I must now be mindful to get it off.
There are so many things out there to help you and most of them are free! Just takes time to find them. I try and bring them here to you but what works for me may not work for you. Try not watching that tv show for one night and take an hour to search the web and see what you can find. But always believe in yourself (even though that's harder for me than losing the weight).
I have just logged into Reshape The Nation, which is the guy from the show Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition. He has meal plans, exercise routines, chat rooms, videos, and much more. And he works with extreme obese people. Now granted these shows all have something that most of us don't have and that is time to do all of these things. For example....I don't have the time or gas money to spend 4-5 hours at the gym. So I make do with what I have here at home and get to the gym as often as I can.
It's in all of us to do this. I know I can do it (at least deep down I know I can still talking myself into it :o]) So give it a try.
I can honestly tell you that I am usually the one who is sitting watching tv, or my favorite addiction, my computer lol. The line I tell myself is that I need a day of rest to regroup and get focused again. Well I can no longer accept that way of thinking. Because when Monday comes, I'm too busy, or tired, just don't feel like it, or just don't care to (the worst of them all!) All of these are excuses I tell myself. But I have to realize that they are just that excuses! I always have time to answer a text on my phone, post something on Facebook, watch a tv show, or just veg out!! It's where your priorities lie. And as the weather gets warmer, it usually means not wanting to go outside when it's 100 degrees, but stay in the house at a chilly 68 degrees. But all that does is allow my butt to get bigger and my self esteem sink lower.
I know it's hard to keep motivated, believe me I know. Especially if you are doing this on your own. Well I am here to tell you that there are ways if you push yourself to experience them. A couple of my favorites are my CD's of people who have lost weight from my 6 Week Body Make Over set, and watching a new show on ABC called Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition. Yes I bought all of these diet and exercise things to help me loose weight in the past, why not use them for your benefit! I take what worked for me from each thing like I like the exercises and motivational CD's of the 6 Week Body Make Over set, the exercises from Exercise Ball for Dummies, the food regime from my weight loss surgery binder for the Lap Band etc. It's all about making it work for you, what makes it fun and enticing for you! Now I know I just told you to get off your but and not watch tv. So get off your butt and dance in place while you're watching or simply walk in place. I personally ride my stationary bike. Watching while exercising makes it that much more tolerable You know that old spoon full of sugar makes the medicine go down.
I will be honest with you. I am very competitive and a bit of a perfectionist. Which sometimes makes watching these shows and listening to these CDs hard to do. My head says I can do that and I've done harder than that. Why didn't it work for me. Well duh...I didn't stick with it through the whole thing. Isn't that usually the way it goes. You do great for awhile but then you plateau, family troubles, financial troubles, or you just burn out. Then you never really get back into it. That is the time, you need to switch it up and stop what you are doing and change it till it's fun again. I have fallen victim many times to the frustration of those excuses so here I sit almost 3 years after surgery only 68 pounds lighter than BEFORE my surgery!! Now if that isn't motivational I don't know what is....well it's usually not enough for me. I have let myself settle for so long not caring or wanting anything from life. Well it's time I smack my self either in the face or the butt!
So that is what I've done. That is why I am pushing so hard to stay focused and maintain this new thrive for life and a new healthier me! I know some of you may look at me and think wow I wish I had her positive attitude and drive. Let me tell you. It is a struggle every day!!!! It's not until I really get into a routine and really start seeing results that it becomes easier for me. I don't just wake up and nearly pee my pants with excitement to get to the gym. It's a push. But I push because this is something I want. If you have followed my BLOG for any length of time you will see many many many posts about starting over again, getting going again, really ready to do it this time. I am not so unlike all of you. I just get moments of drive and usually act upon them but I am human...I falter and have to start again. But I DO start again!!! Each time learning something new about myself what I like don't like, what worked, what didn't. It took me many years to put all of this on even if it was mindlessly done, it was done. I must now be mindful to get it off.
There are so many things out there to help you and most of them are free! Just takes time to find them. I try and bring them here to you but what works for me may not work for you. Try not watching that tv show for one night and take an hour to search the web and see what you can find. But always believe in yourself (even though that's harder for me than losing the weight).
I have just logged into Reshape The Nation, which is the guy from the show Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition. He has meal plans, exercise routines, chat rooms, videos, and much more. And he works with extreme obese people. Now granted these shows all have something that most of us don't have and that is time to do all of these things. For example....I don't have the time or gas money to spend 4-5 hours at the gym. So I make do with what I have here at home and get to the gym as often as I can.
It's in all of us to do this. I know I can do it (at least deep down I know I can still talking myself into it :o]) So give it a try.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Recipe Time!! ~ Year Round Corn Chowder
I made this soup for us on Monday of this week and hadn't posted it yet, so here it is. Now this is not a heavy chowder like most of us are used to. I would call it more of a soup, but it was tasty non the less. So before I go on and on...here is the recipe for it.
Year Round Corn Chowder
Serves 8
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1 1/2 quarts chicken broth
1 cup half and half (I used fat free half and half)
3 cups or 1 pound frozen or fresh corn kernels
1 pound baby (new) red or yellow potatoes, quartered (I used regular yukon gold potatoes and made them with about a 1/2-3/4 inch dice)
1 cup diced onion
1 cup diced red bell pepper (I didn't add this, Jim is not a fan of it)
1/4 cup diced cooked bacon (use the real stuff people, turkey bacon has fillers and things and you are not using that much bacon. Enjoy the flavor of the real stuff)
2 Tablespoons unsalted butter (I used Country Crock margarine)
1 Tablespoon sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon black pepper
1 teaspoon dried thyme
In a large pot, whisk the flour into the broth until no lumps remain. Add the half and half, corn, potatoes, onion, bell pepper, bacon, butter, sugar, salt, pepper, and thyme and stir to combine.
Set the lid ajar and cook the chowder over medium low heat for 35 minutes, or until the potatoes are tender. Serve immediately.
*Ok so some quick notes or suggestions. You can add all sorts of things to this recipe to change it and make it your own. Like adding shredded carrots, leeks, diced chicken or ham. Just make sure that you cut your vegetables like carrots etc small enough so they cook in the allotted time. Also if you would like this to be thicker more like a chowder, you can use a few tricks like adding some dried potato flakes or pureed cauliflower.
I can't tell you if this would freeze well as I didn't make a whole batch so there was not much left over after dinner. It found it's way into Jim's lunch. It was very tasty and very versatile. Give it a try and let me know what you think.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Where did the time go?
Wholly cow! Really has it been a week since I posted? Ok 5 days but still. I know the weekend was a bit crazy with going out to dinner with friends (which I must say was a fantastic time!!) to buying groceries for the month without breaking the bank.
I can't remember getting anything else done other than that. I know I didn't get my exercise in but my days were full and I was always busy, but I for the life of me, can't tell you what I did! It's this kind of thinking that gets me into trouble with my staying on track. I eat like this too. I think that I am eating healthy but when I really sit down and log everything and really think about everything I shoved in my mouth, I've eaten my calories for the week!
So how am I going to solve this problem? Well I would love to say just change it, but that never works for me. I get distracted with one thing or another, not that I want to but it does happen which frustrates and causes depression within me. So I have decided that I have to keep to a schedule and a strict schedule at that. Eat at such n such time, exercise at such and such time, play on the computer...you get the idea. I must make sure that everyone in my life knows about this schedule and adheres to it if they want to be with me. At least for awhile. I am having a hard time putting myself first again and this will help me do that. I know it's going to be really tough for awhile, let's face it change usually is. Now to just sit down and make the schedule and make it doable. Yes I have a tendency to over extend myself or create too lofty of goals for myself. So it will be a work in progress but I know that once I get a good schedule life will be much easier to walk through. I'm hoping the added stress will be diminished, my eating will be under more control, and I can finally have a set workout time other than my 2am (which I haven't been doing in forever it seems).
Fingers crossed, for a positive outcome. Better yet...no fingers crossed...it's going to be a positive outcome!! I guess that means that it's time to get off the computer and get started!!
I can't remember getting anything else done other than that. I know I didn't get my exercise in but my days were full and I was always busy, but I for the life of me, can't tell you what I did! It's this kind of thinking that gets me into trouble with my staying on track. I eat like this too. I think that I am eating healthy but when I really sit down and log everything and really think about everything I shoved in my mouth, I've eaten my calories for the week!
So how am I going to solve this problem? Well I would love to say just change it, but that never works for me. I get distracted with one thing or another, not that I want to but it does happen which frustrates and causes depression within me. So I have decided that I have to keep to a schedule and a strict schedule at that. Eat at such n such time, exercise at such and such time, play on the computer...you get the idea. I must make sure that everyone in my life knows about this schedule and adheres to it if they want to be with me. At least for awhile. I am having a hard time putting myself first again and this will help me do that. I know it's going to be really tough for awhile, let's face it change usually is. Now to just sit down and make the schedule and make it doable. Yes I have a tendency to over extend myself or create too lofty of goals for myself. So it will be a work in progress but I know that once I get a good schedule life will be much easier to walk through. I'm hoping the added stress will be diminished, my eating will be under more control, and I can finally have a set workout time other than my 2am (which I haven't been doing in forever it seems).
Fingers crossed, for a positive outcome. Better yet...no fingers crossed...it's going to be a positive outcome!! I guess that means that it's time to get off the computer and get started!!
Friday, June 3, 2011
Time to burn those calories!
Hey there everyone! Today I started my new exercise search. Since I am to lay off of my foot (diagnosed with Achilles tendinitis and not suppose to be on it much for 6 months!) I am looking for new ways to burn those calories without the hard pounding treadmill...and yes when you are as heavy as I am...I tend to pound the pavement so to speak. LOL. So Tuesday when I was killing time waiting for my appointment at the mechanics, I went magazine browsing. I can across this great little magazine called Women's Health. The one I picked up was You Ultimate Shape-Up Guide. Great title and the whole magazine was full of different exercises for different parts of your body. Perfect!!!
Today I tried the very first workout in the magazine Tone Up For a Two Piece. Now I know that I am so far from a two piece, but I knew it would work my abs really well. I gave it a shot and followed the directions for each set. I was a bit worried after the first set. I wasn't even breathing hard. I thought oh no...this is never going to get my heart rate up! But I still followed the directions. The second set I could feel a bit of my muscles getting warm. Good sign, means they are working. But still not so much heavy breathing or feeling my heart rate that high. Third set I started to sweat! Awwhhh finally!! I do believe the hardest part of the whole thing was getting up off my back for move #6! LOL. But after I finished, my heart was pumping my abs were feeling the work, and my back was nice and stretched. As for the other areas like my arms and legs...well they will have to get work from a different workout. The 5 pound weights that I was using are good for isometrics but I need to really work my arms and legs with heavier weights to maintain the strength I have in them now. But all in all a good workout. I have no doubt it will help but there needs to be more added to this if I am going to make my goal of 2 pounds a week. I worked harder doing 30-45 minutes on the treadmill. So I'm adding some time on the bike as well. But for an all around nice toning workout, this one was pretty good.
Today I tried the very first workout in the magazine Tone Up For a Two Piece. Now I know that I am so far from a two piece, but I knew it would work my abs really well. I gave it a shot and followed the directions for each set. I was a bit worried after the first set. I wasn't even breathing hard. I thought oh no...this is never going to get my heart rate up! But I still followed the directions. The second set I could feel a bit of my muscles getting warm. Good sign, means they are working. But still not so much heavy breathing or feeling my heart rate that high. Third set I started to sweat! Awwhhh finally!! I do believe the hardest part of the whole thing was getting up off my back for move #6! LOL. But after I finished, my heart was pumping my abs were feeling the work, and my back was nice and stretched. As for the other areas like my arms and legs...well they will have to get work from a different workout. The 5 pound weights that I was using are good for isometrics but I need to really work my arms and legs with heavier weights to maintain the strength I have in them now. But all in all a good workout. I have no doubt it will help but there needs to be more added to this if I am going to make my goal of 2 pounds a week. I worked harder doing 30-45 minutes on the treadmill. So I'm adding some time on the bike as well. But for an all around nice toning workout, this one was pretty good.
The Beauty Of Those Brutal Plateaus
The Beauty Of Those Brutal Plateaus
Please click on the purple link above to get to the BLOG I am referring to.
I just read this BLOG by another SparkPeople group. I so understand it and it was a good read to remind myself that I am not the only one who struggles. Like I really thought I was right? Not even close! But it's a good read and has some very good links to other good reads. Give a look and see if it can help you work through the struggles of the plateaus.
I just read this BLOG by another SparkPeople group. I so understand it and it was a good read to remind myself that I am not the only one who struggles. Like I really thought I was right? Not even close! But it's a good read and has some very good links to other good reads. Give a look and see if it can help you work through the struggles of the plateaus.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
I can't fail with such love!!
I am sorry that I missed a day in posting but yesterday was so hectic and just draining. Between the auto mechanics trying to charge me $900 for a break job to barely coming home in time to keep my power from being shut off. Talk about a good time to really emotionally eat. But one of the things that kept me strong was rereading all of the wonderful and loving notes you all sent me on my last entry! I truly have such wonderful people in my life!! I am truly blessed. I hold you all close to my heart always. And when there are days that I feel I don't love or even like myself, I can come back to all of your wonderful postings and things over the many years that I have known some of you and fill myself with that love until I am able to find it in myself again. I can not truly tell you what that means to me!
So even though yesterday was a long and very draining day, I still had my goal in mind. I stopped at WalMart to pick up a few things. I bought some 5 pound weights to go with my heavier weights so that when I am working on my cardio, I can also do some isometric training as well. I also bout a yoga mat. And yes Michelle I am still planning to go do some yoga with you soon! But I bought it to help cushion my knees and elbows on the floor when I am doing floor work. The shag carpet I have makes for very sore knees and elbows! LOL. I also picked up 3 videos. They are Gold's Gym workout videos that are more cardio and isometrics than heavy weights. The strength training I have no problem with at all. The wanting to do cardio other than the treadmill or bike is. That and it will give me a sense that I am working out with someone.
Well today is half over and I haven't done any exercise yet other than walk around the farmers market at the Capitol and to and from it (which was a nice block there and back). I had no trouble walking at all. Poor mom was having a time keeping up, but hey she did pretty good for being 73!! I am maintaining logging everything that I eat, and think I'm going to contact the bariatric dietitian about calorie intake. I want to make sure that what I am doing is really helping me not hindering me! There were some wonderful breads and cookies at the market and for a minute I thought, you know Jim might like some of those. Then I stopped and thought, no....don't do it! You KNOW you will not stay out of them!!! You do not have the will power yet to do that. I may of had it before, but I don't right now. And right now is what matters and counts! So I walked away! I must admit I am very proud of that. So they didn't have much in way of vegetables today, so I bought some fruit and headed back to the car. Now when I dropped mom off at her car (which was parked behind a chinese buffet) I was so temped to say do ya wanna grab lunch. And mom bless her heart would have said yes. Even though she knows it's not what I should be doing, she doesn't want me unhappy. So I have to be strong for myself and not even go there. I did tell her that I so wanted to eat there but wasn't going to. I headed home eating some pistachios from the market because it was far past 4 hours since my protein shake and I didn't have another one with me. I even kept the shells in my pocket so that when I got home, I could log just how many I ate! That and the 3 cherries I sampled at the market. LOL.
I am taking it one day at a time but know that I will succeed. I can't fail with such love from all of you, and I think I maybe finally ready to do this journey I started so many years ago, but really since surgery October of 2008. I think no I KNOW I am ready this time. I am so excited to see me at the end of the tunnel being that beaming glow not hiding from it! I truly love you all!!!
So even though yesterday was a long and very draining day, I still had my goal in mind. I stopped at WalMart to pick up a few things. I bought some 5 pound weights to go with my heavier weights so that when I am working on my cardio, I can also do some isometric training as well. I also bout a yoga mat. And yes Michelle I am still planning to go do some yoga with you soon! But I bought it to help cushion my knees and elbows on the floor when I am doing floor work. The shag carpet I have makes for very sore knees and elbows! LOL. I also picked up 3 videos. They are Gold's Gym workout videos that are more cardio and isometrics than heavy weights. The strength training I have no problem with at all. The wanting to do cardio other than the treadmill or bike is. That and it will give me a sense that I am working out with someone.
Well today is half over and I haven't done any exercise yet other than walk around the farmers market at the Capitol and to and from it (which was a nice block there and back). I had no trouble walking at all. Poor mom was having a time keeping up, but hey she did pretty good for being 73!! I am maintaining logging everything that I eat, and think I'm going to contact the bariatric dietitian about calorie intake. I want to make sure that what I am doing is really helping me not hindering me! There were some wonderful breads and cookies at the market and for a minute I thought, you know Jim might like some of those. Then I stopped and thought, no....don't do it! You KNOW you will not stay out of them!!! You do not have the will power yet to do that. I may of had it before, but I don't right now. And right now is what matters and counts! So I walked away! I must admit I am very proud of that. So they didn't have much in way of vegetables today, so I bought some fruit and headed back to the car. Now when I dropped mom off at her car (which was parked behind a chinese buffet) I was so temped to say do ya wanna grab lunch. And mom bless her heart would have said yes. Even though she knows it's not what I should be doing, she doesn't want me unhappy. So I have to be strong for myself and not even go there. I did tell her that I so wanted to eat there but wasn't going to. I headed home eating some pistachios from the market because it was far past 4 hours since my protein shake and I didn't have another one with me. I even kept the shells in my pocket so that when I got home, I could log just how many I ate! That and the 3 cherries I sampled at the market. LOL.
I am taking it one day at a time but know that I will succeed. I can't fail with such love from all of you, and I think I maybe finally ready to do this journey I started so many years ago, but really since surgery October of 2008. I think no I KNOW I am ready this time. I am so excited to see me at the end of the tunnel being that beaming glow not hiding from it! I truly love you all!!!
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