Journey to the center of a fat woman: May 19, 2010

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Stop waiting around...

My morning started early once again. It was 2am and I was up calling a friend to make sure he was up. Then I headed over to Facebook to see what my other friends were doing. I read a few things and posted a few things and then I sat and stared at my computer. I had sent a message to another friend who would be the only person awake at this hour. I checked a friend request that I had sent to another friend. The friend I sent a friend request to had apparently denied my request, which is fine. But it dawned on me at this point....what are you doing?!?! Why are you wasting your time waiting around for other people to contact you?!?! I sit at my computer, waiting for acquaintances (my true friends are awesome) to contact me. I guess that friend request denial is bothering me more than I thought. But why am I wasting my energy on these people who obviously have better things to do? It comes back to that needing acceptance again I guess. Well no more!!!! The phone calls work both ways. It's time someone starts chasing after me!!! I'm worth it!!! I'm going to no longer be tied to my computer waiting for someone to contact me. If you catch me online than good for you. Other than that....eat my dust!!! LOL. This woman is on the move!!!

How this whole thing got started....

I have been heavy almost all my life. My primary doctor kept telling me that I would be a great candidate for bariatric surgery. I really didn't want to do it. The thought of someone rearranging my innards was not ok to me. So I put off the idea for a good 5 years. Well it wasn't until one Halloween night and an innocent little girl changed my mind.

It was Halloween 2007. I had decorated the front porch and my mom and I were going to hand out candy to all of the trick or treaters. I had a few animatronic things going and the kids were loving the fact that they could come up and get close to everything. Towards the end of the evening a very cute little girl came up to the porch. She put her candy sack down and started staring at everything moving. She was just totally enthralled by it all. Then she looks at me and asks me, "did you get that fat by eating candy?" I smiled and told her yes I did. She went back to watching everything again. Then out of the blue she tells me that I'm going to break the chair I'm sitting in. Again smiling, I tell her it's ok, it's a good strong chair. By this time I thought the little girl was never going to leave. She finally got her candy and left with her grandpa who kept appologizing to my husband for her. It was ok, she was a kid and I don't mind that kids speak what they see. It kind of stung a little bit but it's not like I didn't know I was fat!!! But it wasn't until I put the photos my hubby took of that night on my computer. I saw what the little girl saw. OMG (Oh my gosh)!!!! No wonder she thought I was going to break my chair. I was almost in tears. It was the next business day that I called my doctor and asked for a referral for surgery.