The morning started off great. I had a great nights sleep, and woke up in time to make my hubby's breakfast and lunch. I had a nice amount of energy this morning and was very excited when I checked on my veggies. I have a baby zucchini growing!!!
Today I was going to get back on track with things. I have been feeling a bit of depression due to life's little surprises, so I haven't been to the gym in over a month for either strength training or cardio. I have gone for karate a few times but I haven't been in the right frame of mind and did really poorly. So with that I have been kicking myself pretty hard. But today I was going to get in at least a half an hour on my stationary bike, hold a horse stance for a full minute, and try and get in a good 50 sit-ups. I was going to total all of our bills so I could get a good idea of what we are looking at when I call a credit consolidator. Yep, we have fallen into the plastic trap and like a roach motel, we checked in and can't get out. I'm so glad our economy has fallen into the toilet. But all in all it's a good thing really, we can get back to living within our means again. Anyway, the rest of the day was going to consist of cleaning house, I wish it was just dusting, and vacuuming, and that sort, but no, I have to admit, I am a hoarder. I have a house full of stuff that I have no room for, but of coarse I can't get rid of it, I might use it someday!!!
Now all of this sounds pretty trivial to most but believe me it is a tremendous undertaking. I washed all of the dishes. What, you say, you don't have a dishwasher?!?!?! Nope! I not only don't have a dishwasher, but I don't have any kids to torture to do them either. LOL. I made some apple cinnamon muffins for tomorrow's breakfast, which made the house smell fantastic!!! Oh if only I could eat soft breads and such I would have eaten one right out of the oven. Then it was time to let Shadow have some outside time, so we sat outside for awhile. It was such an awesome morning. The wind was just blowing soft enough that it cooled things off and the sun was just warm enough to feel like you were snuggled in a cozy blanket. Now by this time I started feeling kind of lazy, but I still had a ton of things I wanted to do. So I came in the house and jumped on the computer, reading e-mails, checking sites, and logging food intake and blood sugars on my tracking websites. Yep I'm diabetic. But the nice thing is that after my surgery I haven't had to take any medicine for it. My diabetes was controlled by diet and meds before, I never had to use insulin thank goodness. Not to mention my glucose level was very good this morning too. Well while I was playing on the computer it was time to total the bills. All of a sudden a wave of dread came over me. Ugh. The thought of knowing how bad I had gotten us in debt was sickening. I turned off the computer and decided to do something else. Unfortunately that something else was to sit on my can and watch tv. I really wanted to eat some comfort food, not caring what type it was, just as long as it wasn't good for me. I managed to curb the craving by drinking some Crystal Light. But if you have ever had a craving before and have been an emotional eater, you know that this solution was not going to last for long. It did however last for a couple of hours. Luckily by this time it was time for lunch. Shadow and I sat down to a quick chicken salad with some crackers. We laid down for just a minute then the next thing I know we've fallen asleep for an hour!!! Geez, so much for my energy this morning. Where did it all go?!?!?
The day is half over, I haven't gotten anything done, and now I really feel like dirt. Here comes that chocolate craving. Oh I am ashamed to say what I would have done for a chocolate bar!! Fortunately or unfortunately I didn't have any chocolate. I did however have some Dibs. Yep, I tore into those like I haven't eaten in years. One of the bad things about Lap Band surgery is that things like that (sugar etc) don't get stuck and I don't get sick from eating them. I do get very fat and unhappy though. So why do I eat them? That is just one of the many things that I have to still work on for changing my lifestyle. You would think that it wouldn't be that hard not to eat a whole tub full of junk. But once I start it's like my head turns off and my arms take over shoveling stuff in my mouth. It's not like I'm really tasting and enjoying things by this time. It's like I'm an addict. I guess in a way I am. I'm a food addict. As you guessed, I am kicking myself for eating junk. At least it got me back on the computer to do the bills.
I did finally get the bills totaled, but that was the only thing I got accomplished today. AARRGGG!! In fact I was so preoccupied by feeling sorry for myself, I didn't defrost enough pork loin for dinner. So rather than Mu Shu Pork, my hubby had a fried egg sandwich, and I had some scrambled eggs and ham. Woo hoo.
I am hoping tomorrow will be a better day. I am going to will myself to have a good day. I need all the good karma I can get.
So as you see just because I had the surgery doesn't mean that it's still easy to lose the weight. As the ladies in my support group like to say, "we had bariatric surgery, not brain surgery!" LOL.
