Today was kind of a ho hum day. I was motivated but on the other hand I wasn't. I didn't wake up until 8am this morning!!! Wow I must have been really tired. I didn't even think about eating breakfast until around 9am. As every morning I take my blood sugar reading, and I was very surprised that it was 83!!! It hasn't been that low in a long time.
I got some things done today, like picking up all of the empty bottles around and bag them up for recycling. I got some laundry done, and I found a lawn mower on line for my mom. I contacted the person and set up a time to take a look at it. I kept my eating within my dietary restraints almost all day. I have to admit I did have a little bit of sherbet in the afternoon but I stayed on track.
Jim got home and we drove out to look at the lawn mower, and they had a weedwacker too. They were both really nice units. I called mom to see which one she wanted, and she wanted them both!! I don't blame her. It will make her life a whole lot easier with keeping the yard in order. So we asked if they would drop $50 off if we bought both. They agreed. So we ran to the bank and got some more money out and bought them. Mom had her neighbor bring her out to our house to pick them up tonight so she could start right away.
While mom, Kelly, and Coleen, the neighbor were over here, I noticed that I had two new baby tomatoes!!! Woo Hoo!!! I also have some baby zucchini, bell peppers, and my cucumbers are blooming!!! Hee hee, my veggies are producing more than mom's.
Tonight was the intermediate karate class. I went with the intention of just having fun and not kicking myself if I don't do it perfect the first time. There were only a few of us there tonight, Olga, Christine, Carl, and myself. There is something about Christine, that really brings out the competitiveness in myself. So I had to fight really hard not to kick myself too hard. When I practice going over my blocks and such in front of the mirrors, I always look down. Christine kept telling me look up, look in the mirror. She finally asked my why I look down. I explained to her that I haven't looked at myself in the mirror for over ten years. It is very hard for me to see myself even after I have lost some weight. She suggested that I look up. I tried that but I could still see myself. So that is going to be one thing that I'm really going to have to work on.
Carl went over the same moves that we have been working on all last week. I felt fairly comfortable with them so I wasn't too self conscious. After class I was telling Carl that I wouldn't be there for Saturday's class, and he told me that he could tell that my practice was paying off. I was doing really well in class. That made me feel really good, especially since I am still off my game a little bit.
When I got home, I felt good enough to finally order my Gi. So hopefully in 7-10 days I will have my uniform and maybe I will feel even better about being in class. I won't be able to see my stomach so much. LOL. But all in all today was a day of small victories all the way around. If I can have more days like this, I think my self esteem will restore itself. One can only hope. If it is to be, it's up to me.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
The consiquences of not following the rules
Yesterday was just another day of running errands. I picked up my mom and sister early in the morning and we headed out. I hadn't eaten yet, and they ate a couple of hours earlier, so mom suggested that we stop for some food. I have been totally off my diet so to speak for awhile now and was trying to get back on track. I was trying to think of where we could go that I would be able to eat within the "rules".
IHOP was on the way, not to mention it's their strawberry festival time. We pulled in and were quickly seated. Mom got some coffee and Kelly and I got water. No more juice for me. A glass of juice for me is the same as eating 3-4 oranges, so I haven't had juice since my surgery. It was time to order. Both mom and Kelly got the strawberry crepes and stuffed french toast. Oh what I would have given to have some of that. I ordered ham and eggs, only I got Egg Beaters as a substitute. I didn't pay attention to the fact that my breakfast came with pancakes. Our orders came out and boy they looked fantastic. Instantly, my head went to shovel it all in, eat it up quick. I was able to suppress those feelings and start on my meal. One of the rules of eating after Lap Band surgery, is to eat your protein first. I ate my Egg Beaters slowly, and chewed not quite 30 times but close enough. I was able to eat a little bit of my hash browns, little bit meaning two bites. I left the huge ham slice. I was already at my half a cup of food for a meal. But then I saw my pancakes just sitting there. Golden and fluffy with strawberries and their juice blanketing the tops and sides, and a white jewel of whipped cream topping the whole thing off. My mouth waters just thinking about it. A couple of bites won't hurt right? Wrong. I should have just boxed them up and looked away. Another rule after surgery is that you can no longer eat soft bread, pasta, rice, or any kind of carbs like that. So what do I do? Yep I ate a couple of bites. They got stuck.
What does it mean to have something get stuck? First of all it is very uncomfortable. The first signs that I know something is going to get stuck is that my nose starts to run. Nice huh. Then the pressure starts to build in my chest. I can only imagine that this is what it feels like to have a stroke or a mild heart attack. You can still breathe but the pressure stays no matter what you do. Then your mouth starts producing saliva to help move the food along. This is the worst part. Because something is stuck, the saliva can't help break down the food. The saliva turns into a problem. You can't swallow it because it just sits on top of the blockage. If you do swallow, it just keeps backing up in your throat until things move. What I mean by moving is either down into your stomach or back up. When it comes back up they call it a productive burp. It's not really a burp, it's an upchuck.
I lucked out and the pancakes moved down. But this whole process took a good five minutes. The only thing I could do is to just sit and wait for it to run it's course. The feelings after it's done is one of sweet release. You can quit tensing up, my temperature goes back down, and thankfully my nose quits dripping. I am sorry this has been so graphic, but this is a real life situation. These are things I have to deal with daily. Hence the reason to follow the rules of life after surgery.
I boxed up my ham, hash browns, and pancakes and we were off to another errand. OK now don't give me a hard time. The ham and hash browns are for Jim and the pancakes are for Shadow. No I wouldn't try the pancake thing again, at least not that day.
We finally finished our errands and it was time for lunch. Once again, where could we go that would be good food, I can't eat fast food anymore, but more than that, food I could eat. Mom and Kelly picked Mr. Perry's. The day was getting long and tiring. I was ready for it to be over. It was getting hot, the weather man said it was supposed to be 95 degrees, and my van doesn't have AC. We were all getting tired. The air conditioning in the restaurant felt good. We all placed our orders and sat back and tried to relax.
Now earlier I told you that I am not supposed to eat bread and such. Well, I'm not supposed to eat soft bread. It can be really toasted. That way the bread can not expand in my little pouch of a stomach. Which by the way, my stomach is the size of your thumb. So I ordered a toasted turkey, garlic, and cheese sandwich with tomato. Instead of french fries, I substituted cottage cheese. Our food came, and since I was tired, that same old shove it in feeling came back. I wanted to eat and go. Only this time I wasn't suppressing the urge. I took a bite, chewed it up, swallowed, and took another bite. I polished off 3 bites, and things got stuck! Since I was eating so quickly, I didn't pay attention to the warning signs. This time, things weren't going down. When this happens, I really don't have any control of when it's going to come up. I have to just pray I make it to the restroom in time. I made it to the restroom in time, but it is never a good feeling when this happens. I returned to our table, and was able to eat my cottage cheese. That was the end of my meal.
So there are still things that I have to overcome. I never really thought about how much mindless eating I really did. These instances that happened yesterday are not the first time I've had to deal with it. I guess I'm a slow learner. But the positive thing is that at least I am learning no matter how slow it is.
IHOP was on the way, not to mention it's their strawberry festival time. We pulled in and were quickly seated. Mom got some coffee and Kelly and I got water. No more juice for me. A glass of juice for me is the same as eating 3-4 oranges, so I haven't had juice since my surgery. It was time to order. Both mom and Kelly got the strawberry crepes and stuffed french toast. Oh what I would have given to have some of that. I ordered ham and eggs, only I got Egg Beaters as a substitute. I didn't pay attention to the fact that my breakfast came with pancakes. Our orders came out and boy they looked fantastic. Instantly, my head went to shovel it all in, eat it up quick. I was able to suppress those feelings and start on my meal. One of the rules of eating after Lap Band surgery, is to eat your protein first. I ate my Egg Beaters slowly, and chewed not quite 30 times but close enough. I was able to eat a little bit of my hash browns, little bit meaning two bites. I left the huge ham slice. I was already at my half a cup of food for a meal. But then I saw my pancakes just sitting there. Golden and fluffy with strawberries and their juice blanketing the tops and sides, and a white jewel of whipped cream topping the whole thing off. My mouth waters just thinking about it. A couple of bites won't hurt right? Wrong. I should have just boxed them up and looked away. Another rule after surgery is that you can no longer eat soft bread, pasta, rice, or any kind of carbs like that. So what do I do? Yep I ate a couple of bites. They got stuck.
What does it mean to have something get stuck? First of all it is very uncomfortable. The first signs that I know something is going to get stuck is that my nose starts to run. Nice huh. Then the pressure starts to build in my chest. I can only imagine that this is what it feels like to have a stroke or a mild heart attack. You can still breathe but the pressure stays no matter what you do. Then your mouth starts producing saliva to help move the food along. This is the worst part. Because something is stuck, the saliva can't help break down the food. The saliva turns into a problem. You can't swallow it because it just sits on top of the blockage. If you do swallow, it just keeps backing up in your throat until things move. What I mean by moving is either down into your stomach or back up. When it comes back up they call it a productive burp. It's not really a burp, it's an upchuck.
I lucked out and the pancakes moved down. But this whole process took a good five minutes. The only thing I could do is to just sit and wait for it to run it's course. The feelings after it's done is one of sweet release. You can quit tensing up, my temperature goes back down, and thankfully my nose quits dripping. I am sorry this has been so graphic, but this is a real life situation. These are things I have to deal with daily. Hence the reason to follow the rules of life after surgery.
I boxed up my ham, hash browns, and pancakes and we were off to another errand. OK now don't give me a hard time. The ham and hash browns are for Jim and the pancakes are for Shadow. No I wouldn't try the pancake thing again, at least not that day.
We finally finished our errands and it was time for lunch. Once again, where could we go that would be good food, I can't eat fast food anymore, but more than that, food I could eat. Mom and Kelly picked Mr. Perry's. The day was getting long and tiring. I was ready for it to be over. It was getting hot, the weather man said it was supposed to be 95 degrees, and my van doesn't have AC. We were all getting tired. The air conditioning in the restaurant felt good. We all placed our orders and sat back and tried to relax.
Now earlier I told you that I am not supposed to eat bread and such. Well, I'm not supposed to eat soft bread. It can be really toasted. That way the bread can not expand in my little pouch of a stomach. Which by the way, my stomach is the size of your thumb. So I ordered a toasted turkey, garlic, and cheese sandwich with tomato. Instead of french fries, I substituted cottage cheese. Our food came, and since I was tired, that same old shove it in feeling came back. I wanted to eat and go. Only this time I wasn't suppressing the urge. I took a bite, chewed it up, swallowed, and took another bite. I polished off 3 bites, and things got stuck! Since I was eating so quickly, I didn't pay attention to the warning signs. This time, things weren't going down. When this happens, I really don't have any control of when it's going to come up. I have to just pray I make it to the restroom in time. I made it to the restroom in time, but it is never a good feeling when this happens. I returned to our table, and was able to eat my cottage cheese. That was the end of my meal.
So there are still things that I have to overcome. I never really thought about how much mindless eating I really did. These instances that happened yesterday are not the first time I've had to deal with it. I guess I'm a slow learner. But the positive thing is that at least I am learning no matter how slow it is.
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