The day started out like any other day. I wake up and hubby and kids are hungry, me not so much. We go through the same question routine..."What do you want for breakfast" which usually ends in I don't know what do we have or what sounds good. Thankfully hubby knew what he wanted to eat. He requested toasted English muffins, one set with peanut butter and jelly, and the other set melted cheese. Ok easy enough.
I go out to the kitchen start toasting the English muffins. I grab the margarine, cheese, and jelly from the refrigerator. The first set of English muffins are done and toasted. I put them on his place and go to spread some margarine on them. I grab a small handful of cheese and top the English muffins so I can put them in the toaster oven. As I lifted them from the plate some of the cheese fell off, just a few shreds here and there. But without thinking I grabbed them up and started to put them in my mouth. I stopped myself before I went through with it and put it back on the English muffins. The second set of English muffins were done and I spread the margarine on them and started to spread on the peanut butter. Again, after I had spread the peanut butter on the English muffin, I started to lick the peanut butter and margarine off of the knife! I again stopped myself, but just how many hidden calories have found their way to my body because I just cleaned up the plate or the knife. I took hubby his breakfast and was a bit glad that the food was gone.
I went back into the kitchen to make my breakfast. Two scoops of my protein powder, 8 ounces of water and a spin in my Magic Bullet. Instant breakfast. It's no peanut butter and jelly but it's not bad. I am used to them as I usually have one before I go to the gym in the morning, but it's different knowing that this is all or almost all I can have.
Lunch time came around and I was feeling pretty good about everything. I fixed the hubby some smoked sausage and some potato salad I had made the night before. I plated everything up for him and damned if I wasn't going to lick the spoon with the potato salad! I DON'T LIKE POTATO SALAD!!!! I stopped myself again from eating it.
As the day progressed I started to get a headache from right between my eyes to the base of my head. The headache wasn't too bad to start just an annoyance, but as the time went by it started to pound harder. I know the feelings of blood sugar dropping and I could feel mine getting lower. I took my blood sugar and it read out at 96, which is a normal reading for not being diabetic. I'm not diabetic in the sense that I have to take medicine or insulin I control mine by diet and exercise. My normal sugars run about 118-125 depending on what I eat. This reading of 96 was after I had drank my protein shake and time had passed so it should have been in my system. I know that this was going to happen going down to such a calorie deficiency, but it still has me off my game a bit.
I think dinner was the hardest for me tonight. The other meals were not foods that I really cared about or really enjoyed tremendously. Dinner however, was hard to cook and smell the pork chop, the stuffing cooking, the color of the broccoli and how it would have tasted. I didn't want another protein shake, not now so I ended up eating some yogurt and some cream of tomato soup.
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| Hubby's dinner, pork steak, broccoli, and stuffing |
The day has not been too bad for the most part, just a bit of a challenge getting my thinking back to where it needs to be. I can raise my head high to the fact that I have lost a pound since the fill and that I overcame the urges to eat the things I shouldn't have. The fight and the drive is within me I just need to keep reaching for it until it comes without thinking.
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