November's trip to the surgeon

We started out around 5:20am or so on 11/6/09. The rental car place didn't have our usual Pontiac G6 so we had to settle for a Kia Amante. Yeah right...settle....I think not!!! Jim LOVED the car!!! It had every little gadget you could ever think of.

The ride went smoothly, and I actually stayed awake the whole time!!!!

This is Jim enjoying the car just after we paid our toll. He was trying not to smile for the camera. I however had other plans!!! Muwahahahahaha!!!!

The sky was absolutely gorgeous!!! I tried to get a better shot but the cars on the bridge were not cooperating. Darn San Francisco drivers!! lol. This was the best shot I could get. But it's still really pretty.

We have a tradition every month when we go to SF for my doctors appointment. First we stop in at a Denny's and have breakfast, and much needed coffee for Jim. Then we head on over to the Walgreen's that is in the parking lot. I usually get some obnoxious toy to torment Jim on the trip. This time I got myself a HUGE Bobo that squeaked!!! And it was BRIGHT green too!!!! Here is Jim and my Bobo getting acquainted. LOL.

We got to my doctor's office and they took my weight......347!!! I'm down 6 pounds!!!!!! And that is without exercise and WITH eating some chocolate all month!!! Just think of what I could do if I got back on track. One could only hope. Then the nurse took my blood pressure....hee hee hee.....it was 98/49. She asked me how I was feeling....I was feeling fine! I didn't know I was dead. LOL. She took it again on the other arm and it came out 121/79. Now that's better.

Anyway, I talked to my surgeons assistant and he told me that the 6 pounds was good but they want me to loose 8-10 a month. No problem!! So no fill this month and I go back again on 12/4/09. I WILL have a significant weight lose by then. Now where to hide all of that chocolate from me.......wait I can't tell you, then I can find out where I hid it. Okay can you tell I've lost my mind?!?!?! It must be the cold I got. Hee hee hee.

Four cheese Italian Minestrone

I see my surgeon's assistant tomorrow to see how my last fill has been doing. I'm a little anxious about it, as I have been stressing over other things and still eating chocolate. *Sigh* My portion sizes however, have been considerately smaller and I have been eating better, other than the chocolate.

So with that in mind, I decided that I need to get back to making a meal plan for every week, and fixing meals that can be easily fixed or heated for those days when I am gone all day. Today was one of those "cooking" days. I was going to make some other soup but realized that I didn't have enough corn. Then I was going to make some Cajun chicken, and I didn't have enough diced tomatoes. What is this?!?!?! Is the world against me?!?!? Ha ha!!! I shall over come!!!

Ok, so I decided to make some Minestrone instead. A while ago I had found this awesome cookbook called "Don't Panic, Dinner is in the Freezer". It has some fantastic recipes in it and I can tweak them to fit my dietary needs. Since Fall is here and Winter is on the way, I thought that some soups in the freezer would be wonderful. So before I rattle on any further, here is the recipe and how I tweaked it for us.

Four cheese Italian Minestrone

1/4 cup olive oil
1 cup onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
4 sprigs flat leaf parsley, chopped ( I used dried parsley)
2 stalks celery, finely chopped (I used celery seed @ 1/4 teaspoon)
3 carrots, sliced (I used baby carrots sliced)
8 oz fresh mushrooms, sliced
5 cups canned tomatoes (diced or pureed) (I used 2 cans of diced tomatoes and some fresh tomatoes pureed to make up the 5 cups)
2 cups beef broth
1 teaspoon oregano
1 teaspoon basil
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
15 oz can green beans, undrained
15 oz can cannelloni or great northern beans, undrained (I didn't use these, I don't like beans)
1/2 pound sweet Italian turkey sausage, cooked, crumbled, and drained, {optional} (I used a 1 pound chub of ground turkey and added some Italian seasoning to it when I cooked it)

Serving day ~
I cup small tube or elbow pasta

Cooking day ~
In a stockpot, heat olive oil on medium heat and saute onions, garlic, parsley, celery, carrots, and mushrooms until crisp tender. Place tomatoes in a blender and blend until fairly smooth. Add tomato puree, beef broth, oregano, basil, salt, pepper, green beans, cannelloni/northern beans, and seasonings according to personal taste. Add Italian cheese and stir until just melted. Cool completely. Freeze.

Serving day ~
Thaw soup to a slushy consistency. Reheat, simmering, for 20-30 minutes. Meanwhile, cook pasta in water according to package directions. Drain and add to simmering soup. Ladle into bowls and top with additional Italian cheese as desired.

I browned the turkey until it was no longer pink. I didn't want it to dry out and get tough. I added the dried Italian seasoning to the start of cooking the turkey, so the flavor permeated all of the meat.

You can see that I used the baby carrots instead of regular carrots. This way they cook more evenly and they are smaller bites so it is easier for me to chew. I also cut my mushrooms really thick. This way the mushrooms retain their shape and you get a good bite and not some shrivled up little piece.

And the finished product in a tuperware getting ready to be frozen. The way that I freeze soups and things are by freezing them in a tuperware that will fit into my soup pot. Once they are frozen enough to be taken out of the tupperware, I then seal it in one of my FoodSaver bags and take out all of the air so it lasts longer. When it's time to eat it, I can cut open the FoodSaver bag, put the soup in the pot, let it defrost, then simmer to hot. Yumm!!!!

I hope you give this a try and let me know if you like it and how you may have changed the recipe. Photos of your handywork is great too!!!

Enjoy!!!

Halloween's end for 2009

Whew, I made it through another Halloween. Well it wasn't all that bad, because I didn't really do anything but make cards, pumpkins, and goodies. But it was Halloween after all.

This must have been the demon that attached it's self onto me after watching the movie "Paranormal Activity". lol. The movie stunk but at least I got to spend an evening with Jim. That was nice.


These were some of the dog treats I made for the neighbors for their "BOO" bags. As you can see how could I resist that face, Shadow got some too!!!

These are some of the pumpkins I carved for this year. They are funkins, made from foam. The tree and the moon and clouds are one pumpkin. The tree is the front and the moon is the back that casts a shadow. The second pumpkin is one I made for a friend, Spencer. It too has a shadow but it was a little harder to photograph. The shadow for this one was "Trick or Treat". I think they came out kind of cool myself.

Now you know I couldn't have gone without decorating my table!! Just a few little simple things for fun. We went out to eat but it was fun putting stuff on the table anyway!!!

This is a card I made for Spencer. And yes I cut out the zombies by hand!!!! They are only about 21/2" tall!!! It was fun making though. It lays flat to mail and then it pops up to stand when you open it.

Here is another one of the same type of card. This one was my first attempt. Not bad eh?!?

And my last card of the season.

Here are the goodies I sent off to Jim's work. The box with the Hershey bar, I made from scratch. The feet say..."Trick or treat smell my feet give me something good to eat.". The hands are licorice vines to make it look like veins. Ok so you have to use your imagination!!! And the cauldron is filled with chocolate covered marshmallows.

All in all it was fun to do. It was a labor of love this year. Everything that I started to do, something went wrong with. But I prevailed and as always....had my Halloween. So now that this year has come to an end, it's time to start building and crafting for next year. Yep, I said it....I'm starting now for next year!!!!

My one year surgiversary....

My one year surgiversary has come and gone. October 20, 2008 was my surgery date. It's hard to believe that a year has passed and I am still fat. It's by my own doing but man....

I have seen my surgeon (10/7/09) and received another fill. I now have 10ccs in my 14cc band. It is now working more like it should have. I still have to be really careful of what and how much I eat. I am finding that first thing in the morning is the hardest. I think it's because that's when I inhale food to get the rest of my day in motion. It could be too that everything shrinks back down to normal size too. But whatever the reason, I am dealing with it.

Friday, 11/6/09, I see my surgeons assistant to see how the last fill is going. I'm hoping to be down at least 10 pounds but we will see. I was a bad girl and ate some Halloween candy this whole last month. It so sucks that candy and sweets go down with absolutely no problem!!!! ARG!!!! So all the candy is packed away now!!

I am also back onto tracking all of my food again. Man I didn't realize how much food I was really eating. When I started logging again, I was paying attention to what I was eating and my tummy was a grumbling all of the time!!!!! Sorry tummy....you're gonna have to deal with it.

So here comes the time of year that is going to be the hardest. We'll see how I make it through. Wish me luck!

I've been a craftin'....

This is a candy box I made for Jim's boss. It will be filled with Rocky Road candy. The skull on the top of the box is embossed. It came out very nicely if I do say so myself and of course I DID!!! lol.

These are a few recipe cards I made to go with the dog treats I made and put in some "BOO" bags for my neighbors. Nothing super special, but I thought that they came out cute.

These are a few of my layered cards. The "Don't Open" card has a picture of a heavy person necked with a pumpkin airbrushed on their bottom. Hee hee. I'm so twisted I even scare myself. LOL.

Here are a few of my 3D cards. There is something on every card that stands out. These are my favorite to make, but they really take time cutting out all of the images. Yep I do them all by hand and not with a fancy die cut machine. I like it better that way.

And this was my first attempt at a pop up card. The image on the left is the cover and the image on the right is the inside. It's too plain for my taste. Something is missing. Well it was a first attempt anyway. Will have to work on this method a little more.

I hope you enjoyed my creations. I enjoyed making them.

Cookin' up some Halloween

I invited mom and Kelly over to make some Halloween goodies. I went out and picked them up first thing in the morning and then we checked out some stores for some sprinkles and frosting. We finally got home and started in. Unfortunately, I forgot to buy some cream cheese for the slime cupcakes. So that project is out.

We decided to make some cutout sugar cookies. I found a fantastic sounding recipe from land o lakes. Lots of butter....should have been my red flag. I made the cookie dough and then wrapped it and put it in the fridge.

While we waited, we decided to make some chocolate covered marshmallows. It was interesting at best. Some of the marshmallows had gotten warm so they got sticky. By them getting sticky, it made them hard to push onto the sticks. We got them on though. I have to admit, some of the ones we made looked like colorful turds on a stick. Good thing we were covering them in chocolate. White chocolate that is. LOL. This is what the good ones looked like before we coated them in chocolate.

The colored marshmallows are fruit flavored and the white ones are regular marshmallows.

After we put them on the sticks, I took them over to the double boiler on the stove and started coating them with chocolate. As I covered them in chocolate, and mom and Kelly put the sprinkles on. Needless to say I still have orange and brown sprinkles all over my stove and counter in the cracks and crevices. LOL. After they dried they finally ended up looking like this.


While I had the double boiler full of chocolate, we ended up making some peanut butter eyeballs. I made the peanut butter balls the day before and had them in the fridge. They are basically peanut butter, butter, and powdered sugar. What is there not to love about these?!?!!

This is as far as we got with them too. We forgot to buy the red frosting to make the veins. It's a good thing that I had some mini M&M's, because we forgot to buy those too. LOL. I guess you could say that we really didn't plan very well!!!

We sat around for a little while reading Halloween cookbooks and magazines. Finally, we thought it was time that the cookie dough was chilled enough. So I grabbed my bucket of flour, and my marble rolling pin and off to the table I go. I dust the table with four and of course I had to dust mom with flour too. It's hard to see in this photo but she didn't even know I did it.

No wonder she looks so happy about being floured. LOL.

This is Kelly before we started rolling out the cookie dough. Get ready watch the progression....

Here's mom cutting out the shapes. Notice Kelly is starting to nod off?!?!?!

Yep, you guessed it. We worked her too hard. I even fed her a bunch of Halloween candy and chocolate!!!!

Well as it turned out the dough was too soft and I couldn't get it off of the table, even with a spatula. So we ended up spending the rest of the day watching television, and Kelly ended up finally getting her nap.

All in all it was a fun day. Talk about a comedy of errors though. Mom and Kelly went home with some chocolate covered marshmallows, peanut butter eyeballs, and half of the sugar dough. As far as I know they have survived thus far. Who knows the fate of the goodies after that.

Breakfast the most important meal of the day

We have all heard that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, right. Well for me it's becoming the most difficult to swallow. Literally. I'm not sure if it's because the muscles in my throat or stomach tighten up or what but food is hard to swallow first thing in the morning.

This morning I made myself some scrambled EggBeaters and diced ham. I took a few bites ( probably bigger than should have been) and chewed it up really good (so I thought). Well it came back up with a vengeance! So now what do I eat? Ok, cottage cheese is soft. I got the same feeling from a few bites of that. Now granted my throat is goofy from the upheaval but I wasn't going to take any chances. I stopped eating for awhile to let everything settle down.

I ended up eating some of the soup I made the other day, the spinach soup. Oh it's so good, which is a good thing too because it was the only thing going down and staying down this morning.

So now the hunt begins on things I can eat for breakfast and how slow I have to eat to try them. I am actually starting to not CRAVE food so much any more. Is that a good thing? I'm not sure....the jury is still out on that one.

Wet and windy weather = baking time

I am having my mom and sister come over tomorrow to decorate some cookies and cupcakes for Halloween. Since my kitchen is so tiny, I decided to do all the baking today.

The tentative baking schedule for today is:
Slime cupcakes
Chocolate cutout cookies
Sugar cookies
Peanut butter eyeballs
Chocolate covered marshmallows
Dog bones - 2 different types (really for dogs)

Not to mention, I have to come up with something for dinner, clean house, do laundry, and go some more crafting. Whew. I wish I could say that this is going to be a pain....but I can't. I love doing this!!!

However this morning has started off rough. I am still testing what I can and can't eat. This morning I tried some cereal. WRONG!!!! I lost it all. Which I should have known but I was able to eat it before the fill, but now the band is too tight. It's really a good thing, just I'm hard headed and I always have to push the boundaries. So after the cereal experience I decided to have some egg salad out of egg whites. Normally I would eat 4 egg whites, which equals 4 ounces of protein. I don't know if it was because I lost food before and my throat was sore, but I couldn't eat all 4 eggs. Well I ate them, but I lost some too. I now have no desire to eat anything what so ever.....at least for a few hours.

All in all it is getting a little easier. It's just taking me awhile to get my head back into the game plan.

Well it's time to fire up the ol' oven and mixer and get to cookin!!!!! Not sure how long we will have power with this storm so computer time is going to be short today.

Confetti Chicken Chowder

Last night I made this soup and it was soooo good. I wanted to make something light for dinner but I wanted something that had some substance to it too.

So before I go on here is the recipe:

Confetti chicken chowder

1/4 cup margarine
1/2 cup chopped onion
1/2 cup all purpose flour
6 cups chicken broth
2 cups chopped, cooked chicken
1 10oz package frozen chopped spinach, thawed and drained
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1 cup half and half

In a large saucepan melt margarine over medium heat. Add onion; cook and stir for 2 to 3 minutes or until tender. Stir in flour; cook and stir for 1 minute. Stir in broth; cook and stir until thickened and bubbly. Add chicken, spinach, and nutmeg. Stir in half and half, heat through.
Serves 6 292 calories.

Sorry I didn't take a photo of if, but it was really good. The best part was that I could eat it and use it as an entire meal. With the spinach, onion, and chicken it filled me up well as much as 3/4 of a cup could.

I am still measuring my portions. I am finding that different things are effecting me differently. Thankfully this soup was a good one.

So I hope you try it, if not then there is more for me!!!! LOL.

Getting used to my new stomach

Ok so it's not a "new" stomach but trust me it feels like it. After my fill on 10/7 I am having experiences that I should have had months ago. I would imagine that this is what the bypass patients feel.


So far the food that I have been able to eat has been soup, cottage cheese, yogurt, and bananas. Oh and yes the occasional Kit Kat. Hey at least I fessed up to it. Surprisingly enough the candy goes down easier than anything else. That sucks!!!


Last nights dinner I begged Jim to go get Jimboy's tacos. I wanted a taco salad with no guacamole or beans. Basically it's just meat, lettuce, tomatoes, and olives. Well when he came home, they had messed up the order and we got a ton of food. Unfortunately it was nothing I could eat. I tried though. There was a meat and cheese taco that I tried. I should have known. The tortilla, I think got stuck. Actually, I think the whole thing got stuck. I lost it all. Which was probably the best thing for me. So after my throat recovered, I ate some cottage cheese.


I have to pay attention to what and how I eat now. Small bites, I mean SMALL bites and chew, chew, chew. I'm not sure if I'm feeling a full feeling but I seem to quit eating around a half a cup of food. BIG change from my previous eating habits!!!!

Going back to face the surgeon

Well October 20th is my 1 year anniversary of having my Lap Band done. I wish I could say that I am where I would like to be, but I am far from it!

My last band fill was on Feb. 13, 2009. I had lost 20 pounds in 6 weeks. My surgeons assistant was very pleased. In fact he didn't give me a fill now that I recall. He told me that he wanted to see me back in 2 months. I knew right then that I should have said no. In fact I tried to get him to see me in a month and he didn't think it would be necessary. So we booked the appointment and went home.

Some time in that month I decided to go on a feeding frenzy. My thing was chocolate cake. I had added stress like mom didn't have a car and I would have to taxi her and Kelly around. Money was an issue, like always. And there were more but I don't want to bore you with the details.

In that month, I gained 20 pounds!!! I thought, that's ok I have a month to get it off. Well it never happened. In fact I gained another 5 pounds. I went from 325 lbs to 350 in a month and a half!! I canceled my appointment and rescheduled for the next month. The next month came and the weight is still hanging on. So I canceled again. This time I didn't reschedule.

I worked hard at the gym, but I was also eating a lot of food. I have to admit, it was not all good food either. I was settling once again for fast food or buffets where I would eat too much. Sometimes being in a hurry I would eat too fast and then lose what I ate. After I lost it, I would then come back to the table and eat again. Since I was taking my mom and sister around the trips would take all day. So rather than packing a lunch, we would eat out. This was making things hard in many ways. Money was getting tight, and so were my pants.

Now I have to admit that I was able to keep my weight to the new 350 lbs for the 7 months. But I couldn't take it anymore. I had my surgery almost a year ago and I have only lost 20 pounds. That is disgusting!!! Any way you look at it, that is disgusting!!!

So I broke down and made the appointment with my surgeon on 10/7/09. I worried about it for a month, but I knew I had to go back. I was not feeling hungry or full, I was eating probably 3000 calories a day again. What was the point of going through all of this if I was going to throw it all away. Not to mention the previous months episodes helped me get my mind back into the game.

The day came and it was time to face my surgeon. No excuses. Tell him like it is. I can feel my heart pounding and my mind racing with how to deal with his disappointment. I have to stay strong. I need his help. Well when Dr. Le came into the room I could see his disappointment. He said that he wasn't going to throw the book at me but.... He was actually understanding when I told him that I was too embarrassed to come back since I had gained the weight.

We talked a little and then it was time for the fill. He checked to make sure that my band was not leaking, then he put in 2cc's of fluid in. Now I have a 14cc band in. I have now 10cc's of fluid in it. I have never felt any restriction from any of my other fills. This is one of the reasons my surgeon gave me a larger fill. Normal fills are only 1cc at a time until they get the right amount in.

I drank some water and had no problem with it going down. Dr. Le said he wanted to see me back in a month. So my next appointment is Nov. 6.

After a fill you are supposed to eat only liquids. So I got some soup which had roasted corn and shrimp in it but I chewed it up really good. I ate about a cup of soup and I didn't feel full. I didn't even feel a restriction. I started to worry. I ate the same thing for dinner with the same result. Great! What if this isn't going to work.

The next day's breakfast I decided on some cottage cheese just to be safe. Well I felt a restriction but it was in my throat not my stomach. It took me an hour to eat 6 ounces of cottage cheese. I figured out that I was going to have to make myself eat slower, smaller bites, and chew, chew, chew. Yes I know....this is what they told us BEFORE the surgery. But I never had a problem so it sort of went out of sight out of mind. Well now it's back in sight.

For dinner we had some breaded fish. I could only eat about 6 ounces of that before the breading was getting stuck. So rather than pushing the issue, I stopped eating.

This is going to take some getting used to again, since I have been so lackadaisical about the whole thing. In fact I'm noticing that taking my medicine takes longer too. So I guess I'm back on track. I have updated my weight goal for losing 10 pounds by my next dr. appt. So the journey starts again.

Where did all this come from?!?!?

Man, they say that things always come in threes right? Well I'm not sure if I've made it to three or beyond, but the last two weeks have been crazy!!!


Monday the 7th around 11:30pm I was awaken with some upper stomach pain. It was like a huge gas bubble that wouldn't go away. It hurt to roll over to my sides, on my stomach, and on my back. Now to wake me up usually takes an act of God!!! With my CPAP on I really sleep like the dead. So to have something wake me up was pretty unusual. I tried sitting on the toilet...just in case, tried sitting in a hot bath, tried burping, TUMS, drinking water, sitting up in bed, and nothing was working. This lasted for about an hour and a half before Jim woke up. I didn't want to go to the hospital. I knew it would be nothing. Isn't it always nothing?!?!?! But no matter how or what I tried, I couldn't shake the pain. Jim decided that I WAS going to the hospital when I started to cry. So off we go.


We reach the ER around 1am. There was absolutely no one in the waiting room. I have never seen it empty before!!! They took me in right away. They did the standard, where's the pain, how long, what meds, blah blah blah. Then the nurse told me that since I was the right age they were going to do the whole shebang on me. So I get EKG, X-rays, blood work, everything. And what do you know the ER doctor said that she thinks I have a gallstone. What?!?!?!


So 5 hours later they discharge me with an appointment for an ultrasound for the next day and a follow up appointment with my primary doctor that Friday. I was told to go home and rest. Well that means that my whole week was blown. How do you rest when there are a thousand things that need to be done. Not right away, I mind you, but when you're told you can't do something, that's just when you decide it has to be done!!!!


So Tuesday afternoon, I go in for my ultrasound. It wasn't too bad. At least the gel was warm. LOL. It took about half an hour, and boy was the controller thorough. She couldn't tell me anything, other than to eat a healthy lunch. By this time I haven't eaten since Monday's dinner around 5pm and it's now 1pm on Tuesday!!! Jim and I stopped at Fresh Choice. Oh man, I couldn't believe that a salad could taste soooo good. LOL.


The rest of the week I took it easy. Then it came to Friday. I saw my doctor and he asked me what happened and I told him. He looks over the ER notes and looks back at me and says......(wait for it........wait for it.......)"you don't have gallstones"! See I told you there was nothing wrong. We spent $50 for nothing. Well I can't say nothing. What it turns out to be is that I have a blood cyst on my liver. I thought to myself, what the heck could I have done to get that?!?!?! So I asked. My doctor said not to worry, that I was probably born with it. Whew. He also told me that he is going to put me on a study to see what it is and to make sure that it is not cancerous. That's always nice to know. Before I leave the doctors office, he lets me know that I have a retinal screening that needs to be done, along with a tetanus, and influenza shot. I told him that I would do the shots today but had to schedule the retinal for later. Boy was I stupid!!!!


I went in and got both shots in one arm. Now I know that there is pain afterwards since they are shot into your muscle. But I was NOT ready for what happened later!!!!

That night I started feeling sick. I thought oh great I'm getting the flu from the shot. I deal with it for a day or so and then decided I should read the material that they give you when you get the shots. Duh right?!?!?! Well it turns out that it was the tetanus shot that was giving me the 102 degree fevers. 1 in 300 people experience this. Great I always knew that I was an over achiever but this is ridiculous!!! The fever lasts for about 4 days.

I finally get over that and then it's time for the liver study. When the hospital scheduled it, the nurse said it was going to take all day. It did!!! I went in at 9am and they took some photos of my abdomen then took out some blood. That took about an hour. Then they radiated my blood and put it back in me. I asked if I was going to glow, and the operator said no. I was sooo disappointed!!! Anyway, he puts the blood back in me and I wait another 45 minutes and then some more photos. After this, I get to go home for about 3 hours then come back and they take some more photos. These photos take a good hour to take.

After all that was done, I was told that my doctor would see these photos the next day. So now we wait to see what is in me. Maybe it's an alien. LOL. Who knows.

Biting the bullet

This morning I decided that it was time for a change. I used the two weeks that mom and Kelly were in Texas to try and get my training and life back in order. The eating part I was not so successful though.

I have not seen my surgeon for over 6 months. It all started with another surgeon telling me that I didn't have to come back for two months. Well in that two months, I gained 25 pounds. I kept canceling appointments thinking that I could get the weight off. I never did. I am still about 20 pounds heavier than my last weigh in. I didn't want to disappoint my surgeon. He didn't want me to have the Lap Band surgery but I told him that I would work extra hard to get the weight off. Now I haven't worked hard enough.

I have decided to return to my surgeon in October. October 20th is my 1 year anniversary of surgery. Good or bad, I have to see him. I have to let go of the guilt I feel for gaining the weight and dropping the ball. I have to forgive myself to move on. So that is what I'm going to do. Monday morning, I am going to call the hospital and schedule an appointment. I have been working hard with my strength training and a little better with my cardio, now I have to get the eating portion under control.

I have also decided to return to karate. It was something that I really enjoyed and I need to get back to it. I have to learn not to let people dictate how I live my life. It is MY life and I am doing this for ME. Now if only I can really, truly believe that, the battle will be won! But I continue to try to be a healthier, happier me. biting

Mmmmmm, grilled chicken!!!

I have been on a grilling quest for a few days now. It all started when the hubby says...."you know what sounds good....fajitas". Well the marinade I use has to sit overnight at least. So while that was soaking up the goodness the other day, I marinaded some chicken thighs (bone in with skin for the hubby) and boneless, skinless breasts for me. I also happen to make enough chicken breasts that there is enough for a sandwich for hubby and some salads for me!! I would love to show you some photos of the chicken....but it disappeared too quickly for me to do that, so here is the marinade recipe.

Marinade for chicken

2 cups water
4 teaspoons salt
2 teaspoons pepper
1 garlic clove (of course I used two!!)
2 Tablespoons pineapple juice
1 teaspoon lime juice
Chicken (I used three thighs and six 5 ounce breasts)

In a blender, combine the water, salt, pepper, garlic. Blend on high for 15 seconds. Add pineapple juice and lime juice and blend for another 5 seconds. Marinade chicken on one side for 45 min. turn over and marinade for 30 min. more. Cook however you like.

I grilled mine on the BBQ (make sure you spray the grill with cooking spray first, there is sugar in the pineapple juice and you don't want them to stick. Or you could broil, bake, or even pan fry. However if you pan fry, you loose a little bit of the flavor, I think.

I hope you enjoy this as much as Jim and I did. In fact he's having it for a sandwich today at lunch. Mmmmm. If you make this and have any photos, go ahead and share. I would love to see them.

Honest...I'm not dead!

Wow Aug 13th was my last post?!?!?! I should be whipped with a wet noodle. Hey there I go again talking about food. LOL. A lot of things have happened and then a lot of not so noteworthy things have happened since my last post.

Mom and Kelly finally got things together and off to Texas without to much of a hitch, I think. At least I haven't gotten too many phone calls starting with OMG I forgot to tell you, or we forgot this. So I think things are ok. Hee hee. They seem to be having a good time and I am sort of having some rest time.

I made it my goal so to speak that I would use these two weeks while mom and Kelly are gone to get back to me. Well it's not working too well. I have gone to my three days a week strength training so far (all of last week and then I went yesterday). This morning I went and got my cardio in at 4am so Jim could have the car.

If it wasn't for everyday life and money matters, I think things would be ok for the most part. We got hit with a disconnect notice on our electricity and didn't have the money to pay for it. I gathered up every bottle and can that we had and took them to the recyclers, and turned in every loose coin I could find. I was able to scrounge enough to make a deal, but I have to pay more attention to money matters now that the furlough cuts are hitting us harder. But I have been cooking almost every meal, we only ate out once and that was at Fresh Choice (a salad bar restaurant). So I guess I can't complain. Well I CAN complain but it won't do me any good.

I am watching my meals a little better and the weight is starting to come off. I joined a new app on Facebook to track my weight loss so my trainer can see what is going on too. Let's hope that this is going to be my reason for doing all this for me again. I know, every time you read this blog it's a new beginning, or a new start, or I'm trying again. But don't get me wrong, this is a tough thing to do. I try and make no excuses because I'm the one that did all of this to myself. The weight gain, through the surgery, and the "hopefully" new lifestyle afterwards.

So if you are doing this for yourself too, hang in there. One way or another I AM going to triumph over SOMETHING!!!!! LOL.

I know thy enemy...it's name is FAT!!!

I have been lazy on logging food intake, and I've just been eating what I THINK is healthy. Well this morning I took my blood sugar reading and it was 132!!! OMG!! I went to the gym last night and everything. Well thinking back on yesterday....I ate a bunch of junk. Most of it was carbs and sugar. So this morning I decided that I would "once again" start clean. At least you can't say that I'm not persistent on trying again, again, and again!!

I am getting bored with breakfast foods, eggs, cottage cheese, etc. So this morning I thought ok I'll eat some turkey lunchmeat (which is not the best but it's better than eating junk), and some string cheese to finish up the protein part of my meal. Shadow helped me eat breakfast, then it's time to log the food. I should log the food before I eat it since I found out that my cheese put me WAY INTO the FAT ZONE!!! Wholly cow!! I should have known better, the cheese tastes to good and I like it too much to be that healthy. I know everything in moderation. Well I am now going to start making meal plans for my breakfasts. I am going to log the calories BEFORE I eat.

I guess I can't say that I'm surprised. The weight has not been coming off and now the reason has been slapped across my face!!!

I am now off to find some interesting choices for breakfast. Any ideas feel free to let me know.

Mongolian Beef...it's what's for dinner.

I have been making a menu for every day of the week for awhile now but I very seldom stick to it. Well tonight I stuck to it. I was craving some chinese food and what do you know....tonight was scheduled to be Mongolian Beef! Woo Hoo!

I found the recipe in a Weight Watchers magazine. I normally don't buy these magazines because the hubby is more of a steak and potato man. But something told me to pick this one up. I flipped through the pages and I thought what the hey, I could make some of these for my lunches if nothing else. I love the flavor of Mongolian Beef and I knew I had to try this recipe. The hubby even liked it!!

Here's the recipe:

Mongolian Beef

1 pound flank steak, trimmed and cut into thin slices

cooking spray

1/3 cup hoisin sauce

2 Tablespoons water

2 teaspoons minced peeled fresh ginger

1 teaspoon bottled minced roasted garlic

2 teaspoons dark sesame oil

1/2 teaspoons crushed red pepper

4 green onions, cut into 1 inch pieces

Heat a large nonstick skillet over medium high hear. Coat steak with cooking spray. Add steak to pan; cook 3 minutes or until browned and liquid has almost evaporated, stirring occasionally. Combine hoisin sauce and next 5 ingredients in a small bowl. Add sauce mixture and onions to steak in pan; cook 1 minute or until sauce is slightly reduced (do not overcook steak). Yield 4 servings (1/2 cup = serving)

This is what it looked like in the pan. Oh man the smell in my kitchen is fabulous!!! Makes my mouth water!

This is Jim's serving. I made some instant rice and steamed some broccoli. The rice and the veggies are both plain. I figured the sauce from the beef would be seasoning enough and I wouldn't have the added fat calories of butter or mayo. Looks good eh?!

And yes, like all good WLS (weight loss surgery) patients, I weighed my portions. It actually looks like a lot, but trust me I could have eaten a ton more!!!

After a little tv with Jim I'm off to the gym for strength training. I need to get in some cardio but I think that is for tomorrows schedule.

Still struggling

Why must it be so hard to put myself first and do what needs to be done for my weight loss health?!? I feel like I keep starting over every week or sometimes, every day! I make up my mind that I'm getting back to the gym and eating right, then something happens and I've fallen off track again. I would love to say that it's someone else's fault, but it's my own.

I am either eating food when I shouldn't or skipping my exercise. I was doing so good. I have been trying to keep a positive attitude, but it's been really hard when at every turn something is becoming a new and harder hurdle for me to jump.

I didn't think I was afraid of what I would become when I got skinny and healthy, so why is there such sabotage?

I have had to take my mom and sister out for errands a couple of times where they had to eat a meal out. I have been really good and have taken my lunch with me. I even sit in the restaurant with them and eat my lunch. It doesn't bother me that they are eating something else. When I get home though it's like I HAVE to eat everything bad for me. I'm not hungry, I'm not bored, but I am exhausted. Maybe deep down I'm feeling deprived. But I'm not deprived really. I take things that I like to eat. I just don't know what's going on with me.

I have tried thinking about how I feel and how to change this behavior, and it all comes down to just do it. Well if it was that easy, I wouldn't be 10 months after surgery and have only lost 22 pounds!

There is sort of a bright side to things, and that is that money is really short, so I can't go and buy that candy bar or chips for added hidden calories. I am AGAIN going back to starting over again. My mom and sister are going to be in Texas visiting my brother and his family. Maybe their vacation is going to be the helping hand that I need to get back on track. I really hope so.

Now I don't want anyone to think that I am blaming my mom and sister for why I can't stay on track. They just add additional time restraints to the day. I still have time to eat right, exercise, and do what I have to do. I just don't do it.

Getting back to me

Two months ago I had set a goal of losing 50 pounds in 5 months. Well 2 months have gone by and I have only lost 10 pounds. What a disgrace. But it's my own fault. I haven't been working out and I haven't been eating right. So today I decided it's time to get back to me.

I had to drag myself out of bed this morning to get to the gym, but I knew I HAD to GO. I started upstairs at the cardio room to get my 10 minutes of warm up before I met with Zach for strength training.

This is my trainer Zach and his wife. I'm sorry to say that I don't know her name. But I thought you all would like to put a face with a name, since I talk about what Zach is doing to kill me most of the time.

Then it was time to meet with Zach. I showed him the results of the 5 Day pouch test and what my calorie/nutrient intake was. He looked it over and we talked about having bigger breakfasts if at all possible to help with my body getting out of power saver mode. Having the bigger breakfast will speed up my metabolism more than just the exercise. He was also concerned about the low amount of calories that I eat. I try and maintain anywhere between 700-900 calories a day. It usually ends up on the higher end, towards 900 but that's because I still like to eat. Zach was concerned that I work out harder than the calories I eat. He was concerned that I will sacrifice muscle if I continue training this hard. I told him that if it starts to become too much of an issue, that I will contact my surgeon and see if the calories can be added. I don't think that my surgeon will mind as long as the weight is coming off at a timely manner and I'm maintaining a healthy lifestyle. We also discussed me doing cardio twice a day as per my 45 minutes once a day for 4-5 times a week. Now, I haven't been doing ANY cardio for awhile now, so I'm glad we talked about it. I was thinking (the over achiever that I am) that I would do 45 minutes twice a day. Zach told me no. He said I will do better if I do half an hour twice a day for 4-5 times a week. I will get the benefits of it but I won't wear myself out too much. Which is actually easier for me because I tend to hit a wall at about 20 minutes and have to push myself past that barrier for any more time.


Lastly, I asked him to really push me. I have a tendency to make excuses if I don't want to do something. Now with strength training, not so much because it's something that I can excel at, but there are always times that I don't want to work that hard. I told Zach that I need him to kind of not take any crud from me and to make me push to the limit. That's what I'm paying him for anyway, right. He agreed with a little sheepish grin on his face. I knew I was in trouble then.


We are keeping with my full body work out for now since I haven't made a complete week in....weeks. So we did the rows and the single arm presses, then it was time for the squats. Oh the squats are where I'm going to really put up some excuses. They are soooo hard. I usually do sitting squats, but since the stool that we usually use was being used, Zach decided that I would do some freestyle standing squats. That means no chair to sit on, I have to squat and lift myself back up. Ugh! I was still at the 80 pounds but I was only able to do one set of 15 and another set of 10. I was squatting deeper than sitting on the chair. But I did it. I got a little light headed for a minute but I think that was because I didn't eat breakfast this morning. I rested for a little bit but then continued. I had to do my body lifts and the rope bends by myself, because we ran out of time this morning. But I'm ok with that. I need Zach's help more on the rows and squats than anything else.


By the time I was done this morning, I was tired. Whew....note to self...DON'T MISS STRENGTH TRAINING SESSIONS EVER AGAIN!!! LOL. I drove home and was ready to eat something. I wasn't hungry, I was more drained than anything. So I had a piece of leftover fish and a chicken patty and felt much better. I cooled off for awhile and decided that since it's going to be in the 100's today, I would mow the lawn for Jim. It didn't take that long, about 20 minutes or so. It gets easier every time I do it. I worked up another sweat but it felt good to get it done.


I have a lot on my plate for the next couple of months. I have a ton of Halloween stuff to build, sew, paint, and create. All this and making sure I get ALL of my exercise in too. I can do it and I will feel better for doing it. It's just going to take a lot of focus on my part. The biggest part is to make sure that I take care of me first, that's also the hardest part. But if I'm to accomplish everything that I want I have to do this.