Still struggling

Why must it be so hard to put myself first and do what needs to be done for my weight loss health?!? I feel like I keep starting over every week or sometimes, every day! I make up my mind that I'm getting back to the gym and eating right, then something happens and I've fallen off track again. I would love to say that it's someone else's fault, but it's my own.

I am either eating food when I shouldn't or skipping my exercise. I was doing so good. I have been trying to keep a positive attitude, but it's been really hard when at every turn something is becoming a new and harder hurdle for me to jump.

I didn't think I was afraid of what I would become when I got skinny and healthy, so why is there such sabotage?

I have had to take my mom and sister out for errands a couple of times where they had to eat a meal out. I have been really good and have taken my lunch with me. I even sit in the restaurant with them and eat my lunch. It doesn't bother me that they are eating something else. When I get home though it's like I HAVE to eat everything bad for me. I'm not hungry, I'm not bored, but I am exhausted. Maybe deep down I'm feeling deprived. But I'm not deprived really. I take things that I like to eat. I just don't know what's going on with me.

I have tried thinking about how I feel and how to change this behavior, and it all comes down to just do it. Well if it was that easy, I wouldn't be 10 months after surgery and have only lost 22 pounds!

There is sort of a bright side to things, and that is that money is really short, so I can't go and buy that candy bar or chips for added hidden calories. I am AGAIN going back to starting over again. My mom and sister are going to be in Texas visiting my brother and his family. Maybe their vacation is going to be the helping hand that I need to get back on track. I really hope so.

Now I don't want anyone to think that I am blaming my mom and sister for why I can't stay on track. They just add additional time restraints to the day. I still have time to eat right, exercise, and do what I have to do. I just don't do it.